Lapsus Calami (Aug 1891)/On a Rhine Steamer

by James Kenneth Stephen

THE RETORT COURTEOUS.

I. ENGLAND AND AMERICA.

 

i. On a Rhine Steamer

 

Republic of the West,  Enlightened, free, sublime, Unquestionably best  Production of our time.

The telephone is thine,  And thine the Pullman Car, The caucus, the divine  Intense electric star.

To thee we likewise owe  The venerable names Of Edgar Allan Poe,  And Mr Henry James.

In short it's due to thee,  Thou kind of Western star, That we have come to be  Precisely what we are.

But every now and then,  It cannot be denied, You breed a kind of men  Who are not dignified,

Or courteous or refined,  Benevolent or wise, Or gifted with a mind  Beyond the common size,

Or notable for tact,  Agreeable to me, Or anything, in fact,  That people ought to be.