Lapsus Calami (Aug 1891)/On a Parisian Boulevard
2. On a Parisian Boulevard.
Britannia rules the waves, As I have heard her say;She frees whatever slaves She meets upon her way.
A teeming mother she Of Parliaments and Laws;Majestic, mighty, free: Devoid of common flaws.
For her did Shakspere write His admirable plays:For her did Nelson fight And Wolseley win his bays.
Her sturdy common sense Is based on solid grounds:By saving numerous pence She spends effective pounds.
The Saxon and the Celt She equitably rules;Her iron rod is felt By countless knaves and fools.
In fact, mankind at large, Black, yellow, white and red,Is given to her in charge, And owns her as a head.
But every here and there— Deny it if you can—She breeds a vacant stare Unworthy of a man:
A look of dull surprise; A nerveless idle hand:An eye which never tries To threaten or command:
In short, a kind of man, If man indeed he be,As worthy of our ban As any that we see:
Unspeakably obtuse, Abominably vain,Of very little use, And execrably plain.