Familiar Colloquies/The Schoolmaster's Admonitions

by Desiderius Erasmus

THE SCHOOLMASTERS ADMONITIONS.

Schoolmaster and Boy.

Ma.	You seem not to have been bred at court, but in a cow-stall; you behave yourself so clownishly. A gentleman ought to behave himself like a gentleman. As often or whenever any one that is your superior speaks to you, stand straight, pull off your hat, and look neither doggedly, surlily, saucily, malapertly, nor unsettledly, but with a staid, modest, pleasant air in your countenance, and a bashful look fixed upon the person who speaks to you; your feet set close one by the other; your hands without action: don't stand titter totter, first standing upon one foot, and then upon another, nor playing with your fingers, biting your lip, scratching your head, or picking your ears. Let your clothes be put on tight and neat, that your whole dress, air, motion and habit, may bespeak a modest and bashful temper.
Bo.	What if I shall try, sir?
Ma.	Do so.
Bo.	Is this right?
Ma.	Not quite.
Bo.	Must I do so?
Ma.	That is pretty well.
Bo.	Must I stand so?
Ma.	Ay, that is very well, remember that posture; don't be a prittle prattle, nor prate apace, nor be minding anything but what is said to you. If you are to make an answer, do it in few words, and to the purpose, every now and then prefacing with some title of respect, and sometimes use a title of honour, and now and then make a bow, especially when you have done speaking. Nor do you go away without asking leave, or being bid to go. Now come let me see how you can practise this. How long have you been from home?
Bo.	Almost six months.
Ma.	You should have said, sir.
Bo.	Almost six months, sir.
Ma.	Don't you long to see your mother?
Bo.	Yes, sometimes.
Ma.	Have you a mind to go to see her?
Bo.	Yes, with your leave, sir.
Ma.	Now you should have made a bow; that is very well, remember to do so; when you speak, don't speak fast, stammer, or speak in your throat, but use yourself to pronounce your words distinctly and clearly. If you pass by any ancient person, a magistrate, a minister, or doctor, or any person of figure, be sure to pull off your hat and make your reverence: do the same when you pass by any sacred place, or the image of the cross. When you are at a feast, behave yourself cheerfully, but always so as to remember what be comes your age. Serve yourself last; and if any nice bit be offered you, refuse it modestly; but if they press it upon you, take it, and thank the person, and cutting off a bit of it, offer the rest either to him that gave it you, or to him that sits next to you. If anybody drinks to you merrily, thank him, and drink moderately. If you do not care to drink, however, kiss the cup. Look pleasantly upon him that speaks to you; and be sure not to speak till you are spoken to. If anything that is obscene be said, don't laugh at it, but keep your countenance, as though you did not understand it; do not reflect on anybody, nor take place of anybody, nor boast of anything of your own, nor undervalue anything of another persons. Be courteous to your companions that are your inferiors; traduce nobody; do not be a blab with your tongue, and by this means you will get a good character, and gain friends without envy. If the entertainment shall be long, desire to be excused, bid much good may it do the guests, and withdraw from the table. See that you remember these things.
Bo.	I will do my endeavour, sir. Is there anything else you would have me do?
Ma.	Now go to your books.
Bo.	Yes, sir.