Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow

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Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow (1886)
by Jerome Klapka Jerome

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First published in 1886, this work is a collection of humorous essays that first appeared in the weekly magazine Home Chimes between October 1884 and February 1886. The bibliographic information given with each essay was obtained from the website of The Jerome K. Jerome Society

A book of essays on the same topics from a woman's perspective, Lazy Thoughts of a Lazy Girl, was published in 1891 by the pseudonymous "Jenny Wren". Jerome published a second "Idle Thoughts" book, The Second Thoughts of An Idle Fellow, in 1898.

129305Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow1886Jerome Klapka Jerome

THE

Idle Thoughts

OF

AN IDLE FELLOW

A BOOK FOR

AN IDLE HOLIDAY

BY

JEROME K JEROME

Author of "On the Stage—and Off."

LONDON:
Field & Tuer, The Leadenhall Press, E.C.
Simpkin, Marshall & Co.; Hamilton, Adams & Co.

New York: Scribner & Welford, 743 & 745, Broadway

FIELD & TUER,

THE LEADENHALL PRESS, E.C.

(T. 4283)

TO

THE VERY DEAR AND WELL-BELOVED

Friend

OF MY PROSPEROUS AND EVIL DAYS—

TO THE FRIEND
WHO, THOUGH, IN THE EARLY STAGES OF OUR ACQUAINTANCESHIP,
DID OFTTIMES DISAGREE WITH ME, HAS SINCE BECOME
TO BE MY VERY WARMEST COMRADE—

TO THE FRIEND
WHO, HOWEVER OFTEN I MAY PUT HIM OUT, NEVER (NOW)
UPSETS ME IN REVENGE—

TO THE FRIEND
WHO, TREATED WITH MARKED COOLNESS BY ALL THE FEMALE
MEMBERS OF MY HOUSEHOLD, AND REGARDED WITH SUSPICION
BY MY VERY DOG, NEVERTHELESS SEEMS DAY BY DAY
TO BE MORE DRAWN BY ME, AND, IN RETURN, TO
MORE AND MORE IMPREGNATE ME WITH THE
ODOUR OF HIS FRIENDSHIP—

TO THE FRIEND
WHO NEVER TELLS ME OF MY FAULTS, NEVER WANTS TO BORROW
MONEY, AND NEVER TALKS ABOUT HIMSELF—

TO THE COMPANION OF MY IDLE HOURS,
THE SOOTHER OF MY SORROWS,
THE CONFIDANT OF MY JOYS AND HOPES—
MY OLDEST AND STRONGEST

Pipe,

THIS LITTLE VOLUME
IS
GRATEFULLY AND AFFECTIONATELY
DEDICATED.

PREFACE.

One or two friends to whom I showed these papers in MS. having observed that they were not half bad; and some of my relations having promised to buy the book, if it ever came out, I feel I have no right to longer delay its issue. But for this, as one may say, public demand, I, perhaps, should not have ventured to offer these mere "idle thoughts" of mine as mental food for the English-speaking peoples of the earth. What readers ask now-a-days in a book is that it should improve, instruct, and elevate. This book wouldn't elevate a cow. I cannot conscientiously recommend it for any useful purposes whatever. All I can suggest is, that when you get tired of reading "the best hundred books," you may take this up for half an hour. It will be a change.

CONTENTS

PAGE
On being Hard Up . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .		1
On being in the Blues . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .		11
On Vanity and Vanities . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .		19
On Getting on in the World . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .		31
On being Idle . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .		41
On being in Love . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .		51
On the Weather . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .		63
On Cats and Dogs . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .		77
On being Shy . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .		95
On Babies . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .		107
On Eating and Drinking . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .		118
On Furnished Apartments . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .		130
On Dress and Deportment . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .		144
On Memory . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .		157

This work is in the public domain in the United States because it was published before January 1, 1929.

The longest-living author of this work died in 1927, so this work is in the public domain in countries and areas where the copyright term is the author's life plus 96 years or less. This work may be in the public domain in countries and areas with longer native copyright terms that apply the rule of the shorter term to foreign works.

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