Krishnakanta's Will (Chatterjee, Roy)/Part 1/Chapter 17
CHAPTER XVII.
Rohini now breathed freely. By slow degrees her consciousness returned. Gobindalal made her take some stimulant which seemed to increase the activity of the vital functions. She opened her eyes. There was nothing strange or unusual in her look; and she seemed exceedingly happy in his company. A candle burnt on a teapoy in one corner of the room. She had got back her memory. "I drowned myself. Why have you saved my life?" she said.
"God be thanked that you have got back your life," said Gobindalal.
"Why have you saved my life?" she said again. "What enmity is there between you and me that you should stand in the way of my dying? Why should I live to suffer if it could be helped?"
"No one has a right, Rohini, to kill oneself. It is a great sin."
"I do not know what act is sinful and what is not," said Rohini. "No one ever taught me. I doubt there are such things as virtue and vice; or why should I suffer without committing any very great sin in my life? This time you have saved my life, but in future I will take care to keep out of your way."
"Why should you die?" he said bitterly.
"Is it not better," said she, "to die at once than to die every day, every hour and every minute in my life?"
"What is your grief, Rohini?"
"Oh, I am dying of thirst. There is a spring of cool water before me, yet I am to hold off……
"Drop it, Rohini. Hush! It is getting on for eleven and you must go home. I will go with you if you will let me."
"No, thank you, I can go alone."
Gobindalal said nothing, for he saw what her objection was.
When she had gone Gobindalal felt he was no longer his own master. He was deeply in love with Rohini. His was a guilty passion, his conscience told him. Much as he wished to play the man and crush and trample it under foot he felt he was too weak. He sought help from on high to enable him to do so. But he had not the least restraint on his passion, and in his helplessness he threw himself on a bed and wept like a child.