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Lapsus Calami (Aug 1891)/Of W. W. (Britannicus)

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For other versions of this work, see Of W. W. (Britannicus).
Lapsus Calami
by James Kenneth Stephen
Sincere Flattery of W. W. (Britannicus)

This William Wordsworth parody was first published in the Pall Mall Gazette, 21 March 1883.

4668395Lapsus Calami — Sincere Flattery of W. W. (Britannicus)James Kenneth Stephen

IV. Of W. W. (Britannicus).

Poetic lamentation on the insufficiency of steam locomotion in the lake district.

Bright Summer spreads his various hueO'er nestling vales and mountains steep,Glad birds are singing in the blue,In joyous chorus bleat the sheep.But men are walking to and fro,Are riding, driving far and near,And nobody as yet can goBy train to Buttermere.
The sunny lake, the mountain track,The leafy groves are little gain,While Rydal's pleasant pathways lackThe rattle of the passing train.But oh! what poet would not singThat heaven-kissing rocky cone,On whose steep side the railway kingShall set his smoky throne?
Helvellyn in those happy daysWith tunnelled base and grimy peakWill mark the lamp's approaching rays,Will hear the whistle's warning shriek:Will note the coming of the mails,And watch with unremitting stareThe dusky grove of iron railsWhich leads to Euston-square.
Wake, England, wake! 'tis now the hourTo sweep away this black disgrace—The want of locomotive powerIn so enjoyable a place.Nature has done her part, and whyIs mightier man in his to fail?I want to hear the porters cry,"Change here for Ennerdale!"
Man! nature must be sought and foundIn lonely pools, on verdant banks;Go, fight her on her chosen ground,Turn shapely Thirlmere into tanks:Pursue her to her last retreats,And if perchance a garden plotIs found among the London streets,Smoke, steam and spare it not.
Presumptuous nature! do not rateUnduly high thy humble lot,Nor vainly strive to emulateThe fame of Stephenson and Watt.The beauties which thy lavish prideHas scattered through the smiling landAre little worth till sanctifiedBy man's completing hand.