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Mother Goose for Grownups/The Blatant Brutality of Little Bow Peep

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This poem was published in Carryl’s 1900 anthology Mother Goose for Grownups, of poems that are parodies of Mother Goose nursery rhymes.

118559The Blatant Brutality of Little Bow PeepGuy Wetmore Carryl

Though she was only a shepherdess,
      Tending the meekest of sheep,
Never was African leopardess
      Crosser than Little Bow Peep:
Quite apathetic, impassible
      People described her as: “That
Wayward, contentious, irascible,
      Testy, cantankerous brat!”

Yet, as she dozed in a grotto-like
      Sort of kind of a nook,
She was charmingly Watteau-like,
      What with her sheep and her crook;
“She is a dryad or nymph,” any
      Casual passer would think.
Poets pronounced her a symphony,
      All in the palest of pink.

Thus it was not enigmatical,
      That the young shepherd who first
Found her asleep, in ecstatical
      Sighs of felicity burst:
Such was his sudden beatitude
      That, as he gazed at her so,
Daphnis gave vent to this platitude:
      “My! Ain’t she elegant though!”

Roused from some dream of Arcadia,
      Little Bow Peep with a start
Answered him: “I ain’t afraid o’ yer!
      P’raps you imagine you’re smart!”
Daphnis protested impulsively,
      Blushing as red as a rose;
All was in vain. She convulsively
      Punched the young man in the nose!

All of it’s true, every word of it!
      I was not present to peep,
But if you ask how I heard of it,
      Please to remember the sheep.
There is no need of excuse. You will
      See how such scandals occur:
If you recall Mother Goose, you will
      Know what tail-bearers they were!

Moral: This pair irreclaimable
      Might have made Seraphim weep,
But who can pick the most blamable?
      Both saw a little beau peep!