Oh! Christina!/Chapter 8
VIII
THE INVENTORY
"DO be careful, Christina," Miss Purvis implored, nervously regarding her niece, who, perched on the top step of the shop ladder, was engaged in removing sundry dusty packages from a high shelf.
"Dinna excite!" returned Christina reassuringly. "Mind yer nut, auntie!" she added; "I'm gaun to drap this yin."
A large empty cardboard box fell at the spinster's feet.
"Christina, I cannot allow you to address me in that disrespectful fashion!" Miss Purvis cried indignantly. "Mind my nut, indeed! What do you mean by it?"
"Och, ye ken fine what yer nut is, auntie. Staun' back a bit. I'm gaun to drap anither yin. What d'ye keep a' thae auld emp'y boaxes for? Eh? My!" went on Christina, without waiting for an answer, "there an' awfu' rubbidge up here! I suppose ye've never cleaned this shelf afore. See the dirt!" She swept a heavy cloud of dust from the shelf. "That'll be ten year auld onywey"
Miss Purvis sneezed violently as the cloud enveloped her.
"Chape snuff!" remarked Christina pleasantly.
"Allow me to tell you, Christina," said Miss Purvis, in her most dignified voice, which, however, was half-choked, "allow me to tell you that every shelf in my shop was thoroughly cleaned exactly a year ago."
Christina very nearly exclaimed "Fine ham!" but checked herself in time, and merely observed, "That's peculiar!"
"And," continued Miss Purvis, "I forbid you to touch the shelves without a damp cloth. Wait till I get you one."
"Bring a dizzen when ye're at it, auntie. Ye could plant tatties up here! Are ye sure ye didna forget this shelf last year?"
"If you say another word Christina," said Miss Purvis warmly, "I shall send you to bed, and do my stock-taking myself. Such impertinence I never heard!" She hurried off to procure the damp cloth.
"She's got her monkey up the nicht!" murmured Christina. "I suppose she was vexed at Baldyin no' comin' the day."
It had been a stormy day, and the steamer had been unable to make the pier. Miss Purvis had closed the shop earlier than usual in order to get through her "annual stock-taking," which really consisted in a "spring-cleaning" combined with considerable mourning over goods regarded as hopelessly unsaleable.
When the shelves had been cleaned the aunt and niece refreshed themselves with tea. Thereafter they returned to the shop.
Miss Purvis sighed as she surveyed the piles and heaps of goods that were to be replaced on the shelves.
"I'm sure I might as well throw half these parcels into the sea," she said sadly.
"Ay," said Christina sympathetically, "ye've a queer lot of rubbidge in yer shope, auntie. But ye're no' buyin' as muckle rubbidge as ye did afore I cam' to ye," she continued encouragingly. "Ye see, ye've nae notion o' what the weans like. Baldyin's jist the same. I ken he doesna mean to diddle ye wi' toys that winna sell. He jist doesna ken what weans like. Him an' you are a pair, an'"
"That will do, Christina. You talk too much."
"Hooch, ay! But a' the same, ye ken it's true what I'm sayin'. Ye see, it's no' that lang since I was a wean masel', an' so I can mind what weans like. You an' Baldyin ha'e forgot. D'ye see, auntie?"
Miss Purvis smiled. Somehow she could not help smiling. With a light pat on the girl's head she said—
"Really, Christina, you are an extraordinary child. But come! We must hurry and get these things back on the shelves. It's nearly ten o'clock."
Christina fell to work at once, but she had not replaced a dozen packages when she severely startled her aunt by giving a loud shout and jumping from the fourth step of the ladder.
"Oh! Christina!" wailed Miss Purvis, sitting down on a doll's house (unsaleable) and crushing it flat.
Christina flew to her and assisted her to rise.
"Did ye hurt yersel'? What for did ye dae that? My! it's a guid thing ye didna smash the hauf-dizzen o' Noah's Arks that cam' in yesterday. I was feart ye had done for them"
"Oh! Christina! you gave me such a fright! What made you jump from the ladder?"
"I jamp because I got a notion suddenlike—a rare notion. But are ye a' richt noo?"
"I—I think so. But you must try to be more careful. Now, get back to your work. It's getting so late." Miss Purvis began to gather up the fragments of the ruined house.
"Aw, haud on a shake, auntie, till ye hear ma notion! It's a clinker! What d'ye say to ha'e a chape sale an' get quit o' the auld rubbidge, eh?"
"A cheap sale?"
"Uh-ha! Like what the big shopes ha'e in Glesca. What they ca' a Monster Jumbo and Rubbidge Sale. Eh? Ye ken what I mean, auntie?"
"Oh, yes; but, my dear," said Miss Purvis, shaking her head, "this is not Glasgow. It would simply make me look ridiculous to have a sale in my little shop."
"Nae fears! It wudna mak' you look rideec'lous. It wud maybe mak' yer customers look that wey; but what's the odds? My! it wud be fine to get quit o' a heap o' stuff, at rejooced prices. We wadna need to rejooce prices that muckle either; ye could get tickets wi' rejooced in big letters, an' that wud temp' the folk. It wud be fine fun forbye! Are ye on?"
"Am I on what?"
"On for a Monster Jumbo Sale? Och, say ye'll dae it, auntie! Come on, noo! Dinna be feart. I'll help ye. I'll polish up a' the auld things till they look like new. I'll tell the lassies at the schule to save their pennies. I'll get a' the weans to badger their mithers for maiks<ref>Maik=a halfpenny.<ref>"
"No, no, Christina! I cannot have that sort of thing."
"Weel, I'll dae onything ye like, auntie, if ye promise we'll ha'e the sale. Ye see," Christina rattled on, quivering with enthusiasm, "ye see, auntie, a' ye've got to dae is to write the printer an' get some big bills wi' Great Sale on them, an' stick them on the winda, an' a lot o' cairds wi' Rejooced on them for"
Gently but firmly Miss Purvis interrupted the girl. "No, no, Christina! I couldn't think of having a sale. I know you mean well, my dear, but you must not think any more about it. A sale would be sure to be a frightful failure, and we should be ashamed of it for ever after."
"No' me!" said Christina stoutly. "But the sale wudna be a failure. I'll bet ye a thousan' pounds to a rotten aiple"
"Oh! Christina, Christina!"
"Weel, I'll bet ye onything ye like. Come on, auntie! Ye're awfu' henny!"
"My dear child," said Miss Purvis, a little impatiently, "I have already said 'No.' Now let us get these things put back on the shelves. We have wasted too much time already." She picked up several packages." Now, Christina, if you will get up on the steps—be careful, mind—I shall hand the things up to you."
But Christina did not go near the steps. She squatted on the floor where she was, and looked grimly at her aunt.
"I'm on strike," she said deliberately.
Threats and pleadings failed to produce any effect on Christina.
"You are not only naughty, but also extremely silly," said the exasperated Miss Purvis at last. "It's eleven o'clock. If you won't help me, you had better go to bed."
"I'm enjoyin' masel' fine whaur I am," said Christina untruthfully. She was suffering from a sleeping foot. "See an' no' dae a backfa' aff the ladder."
"I do not intend to use the ladder," said Miss Purvis, whose ankle was still weak. She spoke coldly even haughtily.
"Whaur's yer wings?" inquired Christina.
Whereupon Miss Purvis, wearied and worried, but into tears. "You are a cruel girl!" she sobbed. "I am going to bed. I shall leave everything as it is. I don't care how the shop looks to-morrow. I don't care if I am ruined. I—I don't care"
She was interrupted by Christina falling upon her neck. "I'm sorry, auntie," said Christina, some thirty-odd times.
They got to bed about 2 a.m.—after Christina had put the last package in its place, and after Miss Purvis, touched by her niece's frantic devotion to duty, had promised that a cheap sale would be inaugurated within a fortnight.