Remorse
183
spring nights are long. As long as I live, I must step onto the new road to life, but the first step that I have been able to take was only to write down my remorse and my sorrow, for Tzu-chun and myself.
Like the mourners I saw this morning, I have nothing but sing-song cries for Tzu-chun's burial, her burial in oblivion. And I, too, want only oblivion; for my own sake I do not even want to remember that I have had nothing better to offer for Tzu-chun's burial than oblivion.
I want to take my first step onto the new road of life. I want to hide truth deeply in the wounds of my heart and to walk on silently and resolutely, with oblivion and falsehood as my guide . . .
