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HOW TO GET A LIFT.
'Pray,' said Mr.———to a gentleman he overtook on the road, 'will you have the complaisance to take my great-coat in your carriage to town?' 'With pleasure, my dear sir; but how will you get it again? Oh, very easily,' replied the modest applicant; 'I shall remain in it.
SINGULAR RESEMBLANCE.
An American, speaking of his niggers, said, 'Cæsar and Pompey are so much alike that you can't tell the one from the other,' specially Pompey.'
A CURIOUS FACT.
The proprietor of the perpetual motion, lately exhibited at Boston, has absconded without even paying the man who turned the crank in the cellar!
SHARP RETORT.
A Yankee and a Patlander happening to be riding together, passed a gallows. 'Where would you be,' said Jonathan, 'if the gallows had its due?' 'Riding alone, I guess,' said the Irishman.
PRODIGIOUS.
By a series of interesting experiments lately made in Philadelphia, a woman's tongue has been found capable of moving one thousand nine hundred and twenty times in a minute! Think of that and weep!
EITHER WAY WILL DO.
Will you have me, Sarah?' said a young man to a
modest girl. 'No, John,' said she, but you may have
me if you will.'
JUSTICE AND HIS PRISONER.
'Sirrah,' said a justice to one brought before him, 'you are an arrant knave.' 'Am I, sir?' says the prisoner; 'just as your worship spoke, the clock struck two.'
A LOGICAL POINT.
'I wonder,' said a woman of honour, 'why my husband and I quarrel so often, for we agree uniformly on one point: he wishes to be master, and so do I.'
