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16

CONJUGAL AFFECTION.

A gentleman having a horse that started, and broke his wife's neck, a neighbour squire told him he wished to purchase it for his wife to ride upon. 'No,' says the other, 'I will not sell it; I intend to marry again myself!'

A SHREWD ANSWER.

A countryman being a witness in a court of Justice, was asked by the counsel if he was born in wedlock,—'No, sir,' answered the man, 'I was born in Devonshire.'

AN ELEGANT COMPLIMENT.

Dr. Johnson treated Mrs. Siddons, who called upon him in Bolt-court, with the most marked politeness. Frank, his servant, could not immediately bring her a chair. 'You see, madam,' said the Doctor, 'wherever you go, how difficult it is to find seats.'

MILTON AND MR.HOYLE.

Milton, that glory of British literature, received not above £10 at two different payments for the copyright of 'Paradise Lost;' yet Mr. Hoyle, author of a treatise on the game of whist, after having disposed of all the first impression, sold the copyright to a bookseller for 200 guineas.

A GREAT SECRET.

A person reading in a newspaper an advertisement offering a reward for some lost family documents, and bearing at the end of it a common announcement, that the notice was 'not to be repeated;' an old woman who had been attentively listening, exclaimed—'What! no to be repeated; eh, sirs, that maun be a great secret.'

LOT'S WIFE.

A Highlander who has charge of a number of females in a public work near Glasgow, finding lately that business was increasing too fast for the number of his workers, informed his employer that, 'If we'll no get more haunds, we'll juist hae to stick a'thegither.'—'Stick altogether!' says the master; ‘why, Donald, man, I never heard of any one doing that except Lot's wife.'—'Lot's wife,' says Donald, 'wha was she—did she'll wroght in the wark?'