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A KING AND A PHILOSOPHER.
George III., while walking one day at Windsor, met a smart little boy, who was dressed in a suit of new clothes. The king, addressing him in his familiar way, said, 'Well, my little boy, to whom do you belong?' The boy knew the king, and answered, 'An't please your Majesty, I belong to one of his Majesty's beef-eaters.' The king was so well pleased with the little fellow that he said, 'If you bend on your knee I will allow you to kiss my hand.' 'Nay,' said the boy, 'I can't do that, for it would dirty all my new breeches.'
QUESTION FOR QUESTION.
A clergyman in Stirlingshire, catechising a number of his parishioners, asked a man of the name of Peter, 'How many years did the children of Israel sojourn in the wilderness?' To which he replied, 'Forty years.' 'But can you tell me, sir,' said Peter, how many knives the children of Israel brought back with them from Babylon to Jerusalem?' The clergyman paused and pondered, but could give no answer. 'Woll,' said Peter, 'they just brought back twenty-nine knives; you will find it in Ezra i.9.'
THE LAWYER OUTWITTED.
A lawyer and his clerk riding on the road, his clerk desired to know what was the chief point of the law. His master said, if he would promise to pay for their suppers that night he would tell him, which was agreed to. 'Why, then, said the master, 'good witnesses are the chief points in law.' When they came to the inn, the master bespoke a couple of fowls for supper; and when they had supped, told the clerk to pay for them, according to agreement. 'Oh, sir,' says he, 'where is yourgood witness?'
IGNORANCE OF FEAR.
A child of one of the crew of his majesty's ship Peacock, during the action with the United States vessel, Hornet, amused himself with chasing a goat between decks. Not in the least terrified by destruction and death all around him, he persisted till a cannon ball took off both the hind legs of the goat, when, seeing her disabled, he jumped astride her, crying, 'Now I've caught you.'