20
A COMMON CASE.
'Doctor,' said a person once to a surgeon, 'my daughter has had a terrible fit this morning: she continued full half an hour without knowledge or understanding', 'Oh,' replied the doctor, 'never mind that, many people continue so all their lives.'
GRAMMAR FOR THE MILLION.
A young lady at school, engaged in the study of grammar, was asked if 'kiss' was a common or proper noun. After some hesitation, she replied, 'It is both common and proper.'
MODESTY.
There is a young man in Cincinnati who is so modest that he will not 'embrace an opportunity.'—He would make a good mate for the lady who fainted when she heard of the naked truth.
COOKERY-BOOK.
'Has that cookery book any pictures?' said Miss C. to a bookseller. 'No, miss, none,' was the answer. 'Why' exclaimed the witty and beautiful young lady, 'what is the use of telling us how to make a good dinner if they give us no plates!'
IRISHMAN'S NOTION OF DISCOUNT.
It chanced one gloomy day, in the month of December, that a good humoured Irishman applied to a merchant to discount a bill of exchange for him at rather a long, though not an unusual date; and the merchant having casually remarked that the bill had a great many days to run, 'That's true,' replied the Irishman, 'but then, my honey, you don't consider how short the days are at this time of the year!
MISS WILBERFORCE.
When Mr. Wilberforce was a candidate for Hull, his sister, an amiable and witty young lady, offered the compliment of a new gown to each of the wives of those freemen who voted for her brother—on which she was saluted with a cry of Miss Wilberforce for ever!'—when she pleasantly observed, 'I thank you, gentlemen; but I cannot agree with you—for really I do not wish to be Miss Wilberforce for ever!'
