6
WELL DONE.
Lord Chesterfield has beautifully and truly remarked, —'Whatever is worth doing at all, is worth doing well.' This axiom applies admirably to the treatment of a friend.
A THRIFTLESS LADDIE.
On the application of the Prince Regent to Parliament for a grant to pay off his debts, being talked of one evening in a company, an old Scotch lady, whose ideas were all of a homely character, exclaimed, 'Debt! how can he be in debt—doesna he get his meat in his fayther's?'
A CHANCE FOR BACHELORS.
A man with eleven daughters was complaining to a friend that he found it hard to live. 'You must husband your time,' said the other, and then you will do well enough.' 'I could do much better,' was the reply, 'if I could husband my daughters.'
EQUITABLE ADJUSTMENT.
'Patrick,' said an employer one morning to one of his workmen, 'you came too late this morning: the other men were at work an hour before you.' 'Sure, and I'll be even with them to-night.' 'How, Patrick?' 'I'll quit an hour before them, sure.'
TARE CARE OF YOUR EMPHASES.
An elderly gentleman being ill, one of his friends sent a messenger with the usual inquiry, which, however, he had not pronounced with due emphasis—'I'll thank you to take my compliments, and ask how old Mr. W. is.' The messenger departed on his errand, and speedily returned, saying, 'He's just 68, sir!'
A BROAD HINT.
The great man of a village being at dinner, allowed one of his tenants to stand while he conversed with him. 'What news, my friend?' said the squire. 'None that I know of,' replied the farmer, 'except that a sow of mine has had a litter of thirteen pigs, and she has only twelve teats.' 'What will the thirteenth do?' asked the landlord. 'Do as I do,' returned Hodge; 'it will stand and look on while the others eat.'
