9
H0W TO AVOID QUARRELS.
The late Mr. John Jones being asked by a friend 'how he kept himself from being involved in quarrels?' replied, 'by letting the angry person have all the quarrel to himself'
DON'T YOU WISH YOU MAY GET HIM?
The editor of the Florence Inquirer (American paper) gives the following notice to one of his friends — The gentleman who took out of our library the number of Graham's Magazine, is respectfully invited to call again in about two weeks, and get the number for August.'
BASHFULNESS.
'Sally,' said an amorous lover, speaking the other day to his intended, 'give us a kiss, will you, Sally?" "No, I shan't,' said Sally: 'help yourself.'
ASKING A BLESSING.
A minister went to dine at the house of one of his hearers, whom he was in tho habit of visiting. Dinner being placed on the table, the master of the house requested the minister to ask a blessing. It was no sooner done, than a prattling boy, about seven years old, asked the following appropriate question: Papa, what is the reason we always have a blessing asked when Mr. dines with us, and never at any other time?'
VERY FUNNY.
'Father, do they light up railway carriages at night with gas? No, my dear, with train oil.'
THE SAGE AND THE SIMPLETON.
As the late Professor Hamilton was one day walking near Aberdeen, he met a well-known individual of weak intellect. 'Pray,' said the Professor, how long can a person live without brains?' 'I dinna ken,' replied Jemmy, scratching his head, 'how auld are ye yoursel?'
SHORT AND SHARP.
'You had better ask manners than money,' said a finely-dressed gentleman to a beggar who asked for alms. 'I asked for what I thought you had the most of,' was the cutting reply.
