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because I'm only at home in the day time—and I bought this candle on the first of May—Chimney-sweepers' Day—calculating that it would last me three months, and here's one week not half over, and the candle three parts gone! [Lights the fire—then takes down a gridiron, which is hanging over the fireplace, r.] Mrs. Bouncer has been using my gridiron! The last article of consumption that I cooked upon it was a pork chop, and now it is powerfully impregnated with the odour of red herrings! [Places gridiron on fire, and then, with a fork, lays rasher of bacon on the gridiron.] How sleepy I am, to be sure! I'd indulge myself with a nap, if there was anybody here to superintend the turning of my bacon. [Yawning again.] Perhaps it will turn itself. I must lie down—so, here goes. [Lies on the bed, closing the curtains round him—after a short pause— |
Enter Cox, hurriedly, l. c.
| Cox. | Well, wonders will never cease! Conscious of being eleven minutes and a half behind time, I was sneaking into the shop, in a state of considerable excitement, when my venerable employer, with a smile of extreme benevolence on his aged countenance, said to me—"Cox, I shan't want you to-day—you can have a holiday."—Thoughts of "Gravesend and back—fare, One Shilling," instantly suggested themselves, intermingled with visions of "Greenwich for Fourpence!" Then came the Twopenny Omnibuses, and the Halfpenny boats—in short, I'm quite bewildered! However, I must have my breakfast first—that'll give me time to reflect. I've bought a mutton chop, so I shan't want any dinner. [Puts chop on table.] Good gracious! I've forgot the bread. Holloa! what's this? A roll, I declare! Come, that's lucky! Now, then, to light the fire. Holloa—[Seeing the lucifer-box on table,]—who presumes to touch my box of lucifers? Why, it's empty! I left one in it—I'll take my oath I did. Heydey! why, the fire is lighted! Where's the gridiron? On the fire, I declare! And what's that on it? Bacon? Bacon it is! Well, now, 'pon my life, there is a quiet coolness about Mrs. Bouncer's proceedings that's almost amusing. She takes my last lucifer—my coals, and my gridiron, to cook her breakfast by! No, no—I can't stand this! Come out of that! [Pokes fork into bacon, and puts it on a plate on the table, then places his chop on the gridiron, |
