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removing the bell, which they restored next day. This was wicked enough in all conscience, but it was subsequently cast into the shade, when a furious trio rushed the residence of Parson T h o m s o n , the Episcopalian minister, in Church-street, broke into the place, fustigated his reverence, and smashed several articles in his parlour. T h e next morning a Police Court prosecution was initiated, but influence was brought to bear as a successful mediator, and the outrage was condoned upon terms never m a d e public, but which included an apology in writing. Even so late as 1849, church gates used to be abducted, and the Independent and Scots' Churches were the last levied on in this manner. In the Western Market Reserve, a few yards from the Police Office, stood a venerable bald-headed gum-tree, where a bell was fixed ostensibly to ring the convict labour gang, employed on the streets, and the few other assigned servants at work about, to and from the depot, but m a d e generally useful in the case of a fire breaking out in warning the public. This belfry would be climbed by the night owls, and a stunning alarm pealed forth, which from the furious rapidity of the ding-donging, would lead to a supposition that all Melbourne was in a general conflagration. T h e bell was even carried off bodily and interred near the cemetery, where it was afterwards unburied, and resurrectionized into its former prominent position. Once upon a time, during the Christmas holidays, an effort was m a d e to induce the old clipper-clapper to d o duty as a joy bell and in order to properly superintend the operations, a jovial Solicitor, and one of the original members of the Club, was appointed Master of Ceremonies, and he planted himself in an adjacent branch for the purpose. T h e bell was worked by a couple of ropes attached, at each of which three or four pair of unsteady hands pulled, and the hilarious bellringers shouted and yelled, and ya-hooed and tugged like a watch of bewitched sailors; and so between them and the bell, there burst forth such a sonorific medley, the overwetted whistles n o w in the ascendant, and immediately drowned by the metallic uproar, that the townspeople started in their beds in bewilderment, not knowing what all the turmoil was about, but fancying that Melbourne was either in a state of earthquake or overwhelmed by some other calamity. Those w h o ventured out of doors could perceive no reason to account for the tintamar, though the bell kept clinking away in a spasmodically eccentric style. T h e police hurried towards the quarter from which the pell-mell evidently proceeded, and on their appproach the roisters ran away, leaving their coryphaus aloft to look out for himself. In trying to get down, this worthy got dovetailed between the two limbs, and, gripped around the waist by some of the branches, was kept in a state of suspension—a kind of Mahomet's coffin the reverse of agreeable. His recent carousals> and the manner in which he was left to shift for himself aloft, so ruffled his plumage as to cause his temper to belie the Meek-ness of his name, and he shouted and plunged and kicked in such fashion that only for the hard and fast manner in which the old tree clutched him, he would have jerked himself from his anchorage, and been either brained or maimed through his impetuosity. W h e n the constables arrived all they could see was a pair of legs working in convulsions; but a little further investigation revealed the whole case, and the belated blusterer was with some difficulty extricated from the precarious position in which he had got so singularly jammed. Instead, however, of being relegated to the adjacent lock-up, as a m a n found under suspicious circumstances deserved to be, he was allowed to go h o m e quietly, for the guardians of the peace in such times were disposed to overlook trifling improprieties, for certain well understood considerations. "False fire-alarms" was another of the favoured recreations. T h e watchman and constables were provided with rattles to spring in any emergency, and the roisterers roared and rattled about the street too, and with such frequency that the shouting of " Fire ! fire !" grew into something like the proverbial cry of " W o l f ! Wolf!" and the townspeople were often in such uncertainty as to be unable to decide as to whether they should consider the uproar as a signal of fire or no fire. Pickets of twos and threes often detailed themselves from the main body for special duty. For years there was a formidable-looking water-hole at the eastern conjunction of Collins and Elizabeth Streets, and it was called Lake Cashmore, after an Israelitish draper, whose shop was within a couple of yards of its northern extreme. Though not deep enough to drown a person, the unfortunate wight pitched into it got well soused in slushy water, and it was zz 2