in every sense a m u d bath in which no sane individual would like an immersion. T h e night-hawks would prowl about here within the shadows of the houses or concealed behind a fence, and when a constable or watchman passed he was pounced upon, chucked into the lake and had to scramble ashore blowing like a porpoise and shaking himself like a water-dog. M a n y of the spolia opima would be carried to the " D e n " and the Club, and one of the annexes of the latter place, a sort of lumber-room, was used as a store for the wreckage, and was at times quite a Curiosity Shop, from the miscellany of odds and ends collected there, such as bobbies' batons, door-knockers, bells, bell-pulls, and bell-handles, and even bell-toppers, snatched from the heads of passers-by. There was in Collins Street an ironmongery establishment kept by a Mr. Jackson, and known as the "Golden Padlock," by virtue of which a large wooden gilt symbol of the trade swung out from over the shop door. This was unhooked one night, and borne away as a great prize, and for safe keeping was placed under a bed in one of the principal sleeping apartments of the Club House. Dr. Martin, a most peaceably-disposed individual, arrived in town from a long bush journey at an early hour in the morning, and, feeling too fatigued to proceed to his residence at Heidelberg, turned into the Club for a bed, and was shown the room where the big padlock was quietly reposing. H e went to bed over it, and slept the sleep of the tired, unsuspicious of the mischief that was tucked away beneath him, and was very disagreeably surprised by the entrance of the Chief-Constable before breakfast, an intrusion which was an unwelcome disturber of the sleeper's blissful oblivion. Martin was a Territorial Magistrate—a thing not to be lightly trifled with—and awakened so suddenly, he looked angrily about, and sharply inquired the reason of the intrusion. T h e officer apologized, but intimated that he should do his duty, disagreeable as it was. A n audacious outrage had been perpetrated during the previous night; Jackson's monster padlock, the admiration of Melbourne, had been carried off, and there was reason to believe that it would be found in Dr. Martin's bedroom. A search was instituted, and it did not take m u c h time or trouble to fish out the stolen property from under the bed. T h e discovery riled Martin considerably; he cut up roughly over the "roasting" that awaited him next day, and vowed vengeance on the jokers, if he could only find them out, for he was incapable of entering into the spirit of what was regarded as capital fun by the young bloods, w h o were only too glad of a chance to tease such a dry old stick. T h e fact was, the Doctor's arrival was expected, and the room reserved for him, and the golden padlock was purposely secreted in its hiding-place. T h e depot at the Club was an advantage, for, as its existence was well known, the owner of an abstracted article, or the police, knew where to look out for missing strays, and people in quest of a sign-board, a knocker, bell-pull, or kindred trifles, of which all traces had been apparently lost, would call there the same as visits are n o w m a d e to a railway luggage-room or a dead-letter office. Demolishing the Corporation channel-bridges at the street corners was a prevalent diversion, and also visiting a wooden punt that did duty before the advent of a bridge over the river. The puntman (an irascible old fellow) resided in a hut at the southern side, and every night before retiring the punt would be hauled over and m a d e fast round a tree-stump. T h e larkers would cross by the "Falls" or in a boat, and, creeping round, unwarp the punt quietly, pull across on it to the northern side, and then, by shouting and yelling, break the slumbers of the old punter, w h o would rush out to find himself powerless, with a large amount of insult added to the inconvenience, for he would have to get a boat next morning wherewith to cross, and take possession of his raft. In their nocturnal peregrinations some of the larkers would be literally so blind drunk as to be unable to see where they went or what they did. There were then no public lamp-posts for them to bob against; but if a bit of fencing barred their way, they fancied it to be something obstructing them, and would pitch into it in rare style. Once three of them were staggering through William Street, and they fell against a small empty brick store. In their cups, imagining that it was some huge fellow that was showing fight, they set to work and levelled it. Another time the trunk of a tree on the site of the present T o w n Hall incurred the displeasure of a couple of them, and they kept hammering away at it for a couple of hours, until compelled by the police to forego their intentions.
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THE CHRONICLES OF EARLY MELBOURNE.