Page:Grimshaw, Bagshaw and Bradshaw.djvu/27

Grim.

The thing's clear! the entire human race is combined in an atrocious conspiracy against me!

Fan.	My dear Johnny! (pretends to cry.)

Grim.

Pooh, I'm not your Johnny!

Tow.	There, you've set your wife crying—for shame, Bagshaw!

Grim.

She's not my wife—I'm not Bagshaw!

Tow.	Pooh, pooh! just now you said you were; come, pay the money, or come along with me.

Fan.	Yes, Johnny pay the man the money, and let the man go.

Here Emily opens closet door at r. c., shutting it after her—crosses cautiously out, and enters door l. c.—shuts it.

—It's very true you meant to buy your Amelia a gold watch and chain, but your Amelia can do without it. So, as I said before, pay the man his money. Let me see—I think you left your purse in this table-drawer, (opens drawer, and takes out Bagshaw's purse) I thought so—here it is—pay the money! (gives purse.)

Grim.

Oh, of course! I'll pay the money with the greatest pleasure in the world, (aside) Especially as it isn't mine. (to Towzer) How much?

Tow.	Eight pounds five.

Grim.

(giving Towzer money) There—and now go!

Tow.	Not without Emily—no, no, Bradshaw!

Grim.

Now, I'm Bradshaw again! You get eight pound ten out of me as Bagshaw, and now you come down upon me for Emily as Bradshaw! Well, you shall have your Emily.

Fan.	(anxiously No, no! (tries to stop him.)

Grim.

It's no use! why not give the man his Emily, and let the man go? (throws open door of closet r. c., and in a loud voice) Emily, come forth! My heart bleeds for you, Emily, but—(looking into closet) She's not there! (takes down a large jar of pickles, and looking in) No, she's not here! (staggering) The house is haunted! I'm bewitched! (in a pathetic tone, to Towzer) Towzer, oblige me by calling in your son John, and desire the Corporal-Major, as a particular favor, to run his sword several times through my body; for I feel—I feel—oh lud! (drops suddenly into Towzer's arms.

Re-enter Bagshaw, hastily at door, l. h.