representing important Departments of the State. Meanwhile it is satisfactory to know, upon Sir John French's testimony published to-day, that the Army is doing splendidly. As for the Navy it is incomparable. Still, as Lord Curzon says—
Business done.—Lords having no work to do adjourn for a week. Commons vote officers and men for Navy, with a trifle of ten thousand pounds on account of wages. Tirpitz will rub his eyes when he sees this grotesquely inadequate sum. Between you and me―hope the secret will not go further—it is again what is known as "a token vote," ingenious device evolved at War Office with intent to throw dust in eyes of simple-minded Germans.
House of Commons, Thursday.—Members always keenly interested in personal matters. Heard with pleasure statement which R. M'Neill was anthorised to make about a slice of luck befallen Sir Herbert Raphael. Recently, in burst of patriotism, he took the King's shilling and was enrolled a full private in the Army. Within a week his wife found herself in receipt of the statutory Separation Allowance. Does not amount to much, even in conjunction with the £400 a year (less income tax) received by Private Raphael, M.P. It will not compare with the takings of the agent employed by the War Office for purchasing timber. These, it was made known in useful conversation on motion for adjournment, are at the rate of £60,000 a year. But we can't all have dealings with the War Office. With coal at current price a separation allowance is not to be sneezed at.
Business done.—Report of Army Vote and Civil Service Supplementary Estimates agreed to. The work of several sittings in ordinary times, they passed like winking. At a quarter past six House adjourned till Monday.
MORE LANGUAGE OF THE HOUR.
Hawker (after receiving a caution from a somewhat talkative Policeman). "You ain't 'arf got a muzzle velocity!"
Another Chesterton Paradox.
{{blockquote| "Mr. E. S. Mantagu (sic), Liberal, was on Saturday re-elected for Chesterton Division of Cambridgeshire, without opposition.
Mr. Cecil Beck (Liberal) was on Saturday re-elected for Chesterton division of Cambridgeshire without opposition.
Mr. Cecil Beck (Liberal) was also returned without opposition for Saffron Waldon Division of Essex."—Freeman's Journal.
A NOTE ON NURSES.
[Lines addressed to a friend who, on hearing that the writer was in a military hospital and "very well looked after," unjustly pictured him as surrounded by devoted females.]
Extract from a schoolboy's essay on electricity:―
"Doctors use it a lot for X-rays, which is a very wonderful thing ... They are using them a lot to find pullets in soldiers."
These must be the "eggs-rays."
