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The Merry Wiues of Windsor.
praise womens modesty: and gave such orderly and welbehaued
reproofe to al vncomelinesse, that I would haue
sworne his disposition would haue gone to the truth of
his words: but they doe no more adhere and keep place
together, then the hundred Psalms to the tune of Greensleeues:
What tempest (I troa) threw this Whale, (with
so many Tuns of oyle in his belly) a'shoare at Windsor?
How shall I bee reuenged on him? I thinke the best way
were, to entertaine him with hope, till the wicked fire
of lust haue melted him in his owne greace: Did you euer
heare the like?
reproofe to al vncomelinesse, that I would haue
sworne his disposition would haue gone to the truth of
his words: but they doe no more adhere and keep place
together, then the hundred Psalms to the tune of Greensleeues:
What tempest (I troa) threw this Whale, (with
so many Tuns of oyle in his belly) a'shoare at Windsor?
How shall I bee reuenged on him? I thinke the best way
were, to entertaine him with hope, till the wicked fire
of lust haue melted him in his owne greace: Did you euer
heare the like?
Mis.Page.
Letter for letter; but that the name of
Page and Ford differs: to thy great comfort in this mystery
of ill opinions, heere's the twyn-brother of thy Letter:
but let thine inherit first, for I protest mine neuer
shall: I warrant he hath a thousand of these Letters, writ
with blancke-space for different names (sure more): and
these are of the second edition: hee will print them out
of doubt: for he cares not what hee puts into the presse,
when he would put vs two: I had rather be a Giantesse,
and lye vnder Mount Pelion: Well; I will find you twentie
lasciuious Turtles ere one chaste man.
Letter for letter; but that the name of
Page and Ford differs: to thy great comfort in this mystery
of ill opinions, heere's the twyn-brother of thy Letter:
but let thine inherit first, for I protest mine neuer
shall: I warrant he hath a thousand of these Letters, writ
with blancke-space for different names (sure more): and
these are of the second edition: hee will print them out
of doubt: for he cares not what hee puts into the presse,
when he would put vs two: I had rather be a Giantesse,
and lye vnder Mount Pelion: Well; I will find you twentie
lasciuious Turtles ere one chaste man.
Mis.Ford.
Why this is the very same: the very hand:
the very words: what doth he thinke of vs?
Why this is the very same: the very hand:
the very words: what doth he thinke of vs?
Mis.Page.
Nay I know not: it makes me almost readie
to wrangle with mine owne honesty: Ile entertaine
my selfe like one that I am not acquainted withall: for
sure vnlesse hee know some straine in mee, that I know
not my selfe, hee would neuer haue boorded me in this
furie
Nay I know not: it makes me almost readie
to wrangle with mine owne honesty: Ile entertaine
my selfe like one that I am not acquainted withall: for
sure vnlesse hee know some straine in mee, that I know
not my selfe, hee would neuer haue boorded me in this
furie
Mi.Ford.
Boording, call you it? Ile bee sure to keepe
him aboue decke
Boording, call you it? Ile bee sure to keepe
him aboue decke
Mi.Page.
So will I: if hee come vnder my hatches,
Ile neuer to Sea againe: Let's bee reueng'd on him: let's
appoint him a meeting: giue him a show of comfort in
his Suit, and lead him on with a fine baited delay, till hee
hath pawn'd his horses to mine Host of the Garter
So will I: if hee come vnder my hatches,
Ile neuer to Sea againe: Let's bee reueng'd on him: let's
appoint him a meeting: giue him a show of comfort in
his Suit, and lead him on with a fine baited delay, till hee
hath pawn'd his horses to mine Host of the Garter
Mi.Ford.
Nay, I wil consent to act any villany against
him, that may not sully the charinesse of our honesty: oh
that my husband saw this Letter: it would giue eternall
food to his iealousie
Nay, I wil consent to act any villany against
him, that may not sully the charinesse of our honesty: oh
that my husband saw this Letter: it would giue eternall
food to his iealousie
Mis.Page.
Why look where he comes; and my good
man too: hee's as farre from iealousie, as I am from giuing
him cause, and that (I hope) is an vnmeasurable distance.
Why look where he comes; and my good
man too: hee's as farre from iealousie, as I am from giuing
him cause, and that (I hope) is an vnmeasurable distance.
Mis.Ford.
You are the happier woman.
You are the happier woman.
Mis.Page.
Let's consult together against this greasie
Knight: Come hither.
Let's consult together against this greasie
Knight: Come hither.
Ford.
Well: I hope, it be not so.
Well: I hope, it be not so.
Pist.
Hope is a curtall-dog in some affaires:
Sir Iohn affects thy wife.
Hope is a curtall-dog in some affaires:
Sir Iohn affects thy wife.
Ford.
Why sir, my wife is not young.
Why sir, my wife is not young.
Pist.
He wooes both high and low, both rich & poor,
both yong and old, one with another (Ford) he loues the
Gally-mawfry (Ford) perpend.
He wooes both high and low, both rich & poor,
both yong and old, one with another (Ford) he loues the
Gally-mawfry (Ford) perpend.
Ford.
Loue my wife?
Loue my wife?
Pist.
With liuer, burning hot: preuent:
Or goe thou like Sir Acteon he, with
Ring-wood at thy heeles: O, odious is the name.
With liuer, burning hot: preuent:
Or goe thou like Sir Acteon he, with
Ring-wood at thy heeles: O, odious is the name.
Ford.
What name Sir?
What name Sir?
Pist.
The horne I say: Farewell:
Take heed, haue open eye, for theeues doe foot by night.
Take heed, ere sommer comes, or Cuckoo-birds do sing.
Away sir Corporall Nim:
Beleeue it (Page) he speakes sence.
The horne I say: Farewell:
Take heed, haue open eye, for theeues doe foot by night.
Take heed, ere sommer comes, or Cuckoo-birds do sing.
Away sir Corporall Nim:
Beleeue it (Page) he speakes sence.
Ford.
I will be patient: I will find out this.
I will be patient: I will find out this.
Nim.
And this is true: I like not the humor of lying:
hee hath wronged mee in some humors: I should haue
borne the humour'd Letter to her: but I haue a sword:
and it shall bite vpon my necessitie: he loues your wife;
There's the short and the long: My name is Corporall
Nim: I speak, and I auouch; 'tis true: my name is Nim:
and Falstaffe loues your wife: adieu, I loue not the humour
of bread and cheese: adieu.
And this is true: I like not the humor of lying:
hee hath wronged mee in some humors: I should haue
borne the humour'd Letter to her: but I haue a sword:
and it shall bite vpon my necessitie: he loues your wife;
There's the short and the long: My name is Corporall
Nim: I speak, and I auouch; 'tis true: my name is Nim:
and Falstaffe loues your wife: adieu, I loue not the humour
of bread and cheese: adieu.
Page.
The humour of it (quoth 'a?) heere's a fellow
frights English out of his wits.
The humour of it (quoth 'a?) heere's a fellow
frights English out of his wits.
Ford.
I will seeke out Falstaffe.
I will seeke out Falstaffe.
Page.
I neuer heard such a drawling-affecting rogue.
I neuer heard such a drawling-affecting rogue.
Ford.
If I doe finde it: well.
If I doe finde it: well.
Page.
I will not beleeue such a Cataian, though the
Priest o' th' Towne commended him for a true man.
I will not beleeue such a Cataian, though the
Priest o' th' Towne commended him for a true man.
Ford.
'Twas a good sensible fellow: well.
'Twas a good sensible fellow: well.
Page.
How now Meg?
How now Meg?
Mist.Page.
Whether goe you (George?) harke you.
Whether goe you (George?) harke you.
Mis.Ford.
How now (sweet Frank) why art thou melancholy?
How now (sweet Frank) why art thou melancholy?
Ford.
I melancholy? I am not melancholy:
Get you home: goe.
I melancholy? I am not melancholy:
Get you home: goe.
Mis.Ford.
Faith, thou hast some crochets in thy head,
Now: will you goe, Mistris Page?
Faith, thou hast some crochets in thy head,
Now: will you goe, Mistris Page?
Mis.Page.
Haue with you: you'll come to dinner
George? Looke who comes yonder: shee shall bee our
Messenger to this paltrie Knight.
Haue with you: you'll come to dinner
George? Looke who comes yonder: shee shall bee our
Messenger to this paltrie Knight.
Mis.Ford.
Trust me, I thought on her: shee'll fit it.
Trust me, I thought on her: shee'll fit it.
Mis.Page.
You are come to see my daughter Anne?
You are come to see my daughter Anne?
Qui.
I forsooth: and I pray how do's good Mistresse Anne?
I forsooth: and I pray how do's good Mistresse Anne?
Mis.Page.
Go in with vs and see: we haue an houres
talke with you.
Go in with vs and see: we haue an houres
talke with you.
Page.
How now Master Ford?
How now Master Ford?
For.
You heard what this knaue told me, did you not?
You heard what this knaue told me, did you not?
Page.
Yes, and you heard what the other told me?
Yes, and you heard what the other told me?
Ford.
Doe you thinke there is truth in them?
Doe you thinke there is truth in them?
Pag.
Hang 'em slaues: I doe not thinke the Knight
would offer it: But these that accuse him in his intent
towards our wiues, are a yoake of his discarded men: very
rogues, now they be out of seruice.
Hang 'em slaues: I doe not thinke the Knight
would offer it: But these that accuse him in his intent
towards our wiues, are a yoake of his discarded men: very
rogues, now they be out of seruice.
Ford.
Were they his men?
Were they his men?
Page.
Marry were they.
Marry were they.
Ford.
I like it neuer the beter for that,
Do's he lye at the Garter?
I like it neuer the beter for that,
Do's he lye at the Garter?
Page.
I marry do's he: if hee should intend this voyage
toward my wife, I would turne her loose to him;
and what hee gets more of her, then sharpe words, let it
lye on my head.
I marry do's he: if hee should intend this voyage
toward my wife, I would turne her loose to him;
and what hee gets more of her, then sharpe words, let it
lye on my head.
Ford.
I doe not misdoubt my wife: but I would bee
loath to turne them together: a man may be too confident:
I would haue nothing lye on my head: I cannot
be thus satisfied.
I doe not misdoubt my wife: but I would bee
loath to turne them together: a man may be too confident:
I would haue nothing lye on my head: I cannot
be thus satisfied.
Page.
Looke where my ranting-Host of the Garter
comes: there is eyther liquor in his pate, or mony in his
purse, when hee lookes so merrily: How now mine Host?
Looke where my ranting-Host of the Garter
comes: there is eyther liquor in his pate, or mony in his
purse, when hee lookes so merrily: How now mine Host?
Host.
How now Bully-Rooke: thou'rt a Gentleman
Caueleiro Iustice, I say.
How now Bully-Rooke: thou'rt a Gentleman
Caueleiro Iustice, I say.
Shal.
I follow, (mine Host) I follow: Good-euen,
and twenty (good Master Page.) Master Page, wil you go
with vs? we haue sport in hand.
I follow, (mine Host) I follow: Good-euen,
and twenty (good Master Page.) Master Page, wil you go
with vs? we haue sport in hand.
Host.
Tell him Caueleiro-Iustice: tell him Bully-Rooke.
Tell him Caueleiro-Iustice: tell him Bully-Rooke.
Shall.
Sir, there is a fray to be fought, betweene Sir
Hugh the Welch Priest, and Caius the French Doctor.
Sir, there is a fray to be fought, betweene Sir
Hugh the Welch Priest, and Caius the French Doctor.
Ford. Good
