312 FAMILIAR COLLOQUIES. stance along with them, such as are sent hither by apoplexies, qxiinseys, pestilences, and especially by war. A I. I don't think the French or Spaniards bring much weight along with them. Ch. Much less than the rest, but for all that their ghosts are not altogether so light as feathers neither. But as for the Englishmen and Germans that feed well, they come sometimes in such case that I was lately in danger of going to the bottom in carrying only ten, and unless I had thrown some of my lading overboard, I had been lost, boat, passengers, and boat-hire altogether. Al. You were in great danger then, indeed. Ch. But what do you think I must do when so many fat lords, hectors, and bullies shall come to us ] Al. As for those that die in a just war, I suppose none of them will come to you, for they say they fly bolt upright into heaven. Ch. I cannot tell where they fly to, but this I am sure of, as often as there is a war there come so many wounded and cripples to me that I wonder that there should be one soul left above ground, and they come over- charged, not only with surfeits and paunch bellies, but with bulls, benefices, and a great many other things. Al. But they don't bring these things along with them, but come naked to you. Ch. True, but at their first coming they bring the dreams of all these things along with them. Al. Are dreams so heavy then 1 Ch. They load my boat load it, did I say 1 nay, they have sunk it before now. And, in the last place, do you think so many halfpence do not weigh anything] Al. Yes, I believe they do, if they bring brass ones. Ch. Therefore I am resolved to look out for a vessel that shall be fit for my cargo. Al. You are a happy fellow. Ch. Wherein? Al. Because you will get an estate in a trice. Ch. What, out of a multitude of ghosts? Al. Yes, indeed. Ch. Ay, if they did but bring their wealth along with them. But now they sit in my boat bewailing themselves for the kingdoms, and dignities, and abbacies, and the innumerable talents of gold they have left behind them, and bring me nothing but a poor halfpenny. So that all I have been scraping together for these three thousand years will go for the purchase of a new boat. AL They that expect gain must be at some charge. Ch. But the people in the world have better trading, I hear; for if fortune favour them, they can get an estate in three years' time. Al. Ay, and sometimes turn bankrupts too; though your gain is less it is more certain. Ch. I cannot tell how certain it is ; if any deity should start up and make peace among the princes, all this goodly expectation of mine is knocked on the head at once. Al. As to that matter, I will take upon me to be your security, so that you may set your heart at rest. You have no reason to fear a peace for these ten years ; the pope is the only man that persuades them to come to an agreement among themselves, but he had as good keep his breath to cool his porridge. The cities mur- mur at the load of calamities they lie under, and some there are, I cannot tell who, that whisper it about, that it is an unreasonable thing that the whole world should be turned upside down for the private piques and ambition of two or three persons. But for all this, take my word for it, let these attempts be as promising as they will. But what occasion had you to come into this world to get a boat ; have we not workmen enough among ourselves? We have Vulcan, have we not 1 ? Ch. Ay, right, if I wanted a boat of brass, Al. Or
