Recognizing and Counseling Effectively with a “Sex Caller”
A “sex caller” is not the same as a prank caller who uses sexual words. A sex caller’s goal is sexual satisfaction, yet he/she still deserves Unconditional Positive Regard, Empathy, and Genuineness. The sex caller needs firm and fair limits, but not rejection or hostility. For KHL and TL, the biggest hint that this may be a sex caller is that the caller is an adult.
Common Characteristics:
- Voice tone devoid of emotion
- Hesitation in speaking
- Gives first name immediately/asks counselor’s name immediately
- Asks personal questions about the counselor
- Uses the word “embarrassing” frequently
- Asks for counselor’s opinion about the “problem.”
- Gives detailed sexual descriptions
- Uses formal or anatomical language in describing sex acts
- Hangs up abruptly before the call is complete.
- Uses a “whispery” tone of voice
Common Opening Lines
- Can I talk about anything?
- I’ve never called before.
- I have an embarrassing problem.
Suggest Caring Confrontational Responses:
- “I’m having trouble accepting what you’re telling me.”
- “We’ve spoken about this before.”
- “How did you hope that I could help you with this?”
- “There’s no need to go into detail. I know what you’re talking about.”
- “We are not trained to deal with sexual problems. Let me offer you the following referral of those who have training in this area of specialty.”
Summary of Do’s and Don’ts:
Do:
- Tell the caller why you are hanging up.
- Follow through with hanging up immediately after you have said you are going to do this.
- With care, confront and/or interrupt the caller.
- Put responsibility for the majority of the talking on the caller.
Don’t:
- Debate with the caller after you have said you are hanging up.
- Give sexual information or advice.
- Promise caller anything before you know what this promise will entail.
Volunteer Manual/Section 3/REV 07/07/14
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