Punch/Volume 147/Issue 3822/To a Jaded German Pressman
["One cannot receive news of victories every day."—German Official Newspaper.]
True, as you say, there is no cause for grieving,
When in your pages no triumphs appear,
But, gentle Sir, when you talk of "receiving,"
Are you not wandering out of your sphere?
Yours not to wait for a foe's retrogression,
Yours not to heed the belligerents' fate;
You're higher up in the writer's profession;
Perish "receiving," 'tis yours to create.
What though you dabble in newspaper diction
Common reporters deserve your disdain;
You should be ranked with the masters of fiction,
Weaving your victories out of your brain.
Stories are needed, and you must supply 'em;
That should be easy; so gifted a man
Surely can compass a triumph per diem,
Seeing the truth is no part of your plan.
Even although inspiration is flagging,
Let not your output grow markedly less;
Fiction gives precedents (plenty) for dragging
Out an old yard in a different dress.
But, if your brain is too weary for spinning
Words to re-tell our habitual rout,
Don't blame the army that hasn't been winning;
Frankly confess that you feel written out.