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Punch/Volume 147/Issue 3825/Casus Belli

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Punch, Volume 147, Issue 3825 (October 28th, 1914)
Casus Belli by R. P. Keigwin
4258309Punch, Volume 147, Issue 3825 (October 28th, 1914) — Casus BelliR. P. Keigwin

CASUS BELLI.

(For a sensitive Scot.)

Tea-shop, how I loathe thee!
Our connection's o'er,
Henceforth I don't know thee
Any more.

'Tisn't that I did not
On thy pastry dote;
'Tisn't that it slid not
Down my throat;

'Tisn't that thy crumpets
Fell a trifle fiat—
If I've got the hump it's
Not from that.

'Tisn't that the waitress,
Tried to wink at me,
Or let fall a stray tress
In my tea;

'Tisn't that I tossed thee
Tenpence in the till
For a snack that cost thee
Almost nil...

Nay, 'twas this unnerved me—
Just a scŏne alone,
Which the lass who served me
Called a scōne.