Punch/Volume 147/Issue 3825/War and the High Hand
Scene: A Mothers' Meeting.
"They do say as this old Keyser or Geyser or whatever 'e calls 'isself be goin' to 'op it."
"Afraid of 'is life, if t'other side should win—that it?"
"Likely 'e is—an' well may be. T'other side be our side in that case, bain't it?"
"That's it. An' it's 'im for 'isself an' the rest for theirselves, from what I can see."
"Tey old Keyser, 'e's to blame for most ev'rythin' happenin' nowadays. Reg'lar firebran' in our midst, 'e do seem."
"Daresay 'e was drove to it, if we could but see all."
"Some woman nagged 'im into it—if you ask me."
"They do say 'e craves for peace with 'is whole mind."
"Parson 'e says on Sunday as the hypocrit' cries for peace where there is no peace."
"That's it. An' it's 'im for 'isself an' the rest for theirselves, from what I can see."
"This war seems to take people out of their true selves, makin' of 'em ravenin' beasts."
"Men, too, as otherwise acts quiet an' well-meanin' enough. You 'eard what Doctor done?"
"What 'e done?"
"Not to old Sally's son, Jim?"
"'Im as 'urted is 'and blackberry time—a year ago this very month?"
"'Im. Ill unto death, 'e were, with blood poisonin', and 'e says what a shockin' state 'is blood must 'ave been in for the poison to serve 'im so."
"An' old Sally been a-keepin' of 'im ever since. 'Er needle been at it reg'lar, but 'ardly earnin' a livin' wage owin' to the meanness of them who 'as it to pay."
"An' a poisoned and, when the worst be over, ain't no bar to the appetite."
"Glad she's been to do it sooner than lose 'im, as she lost 'is brother with 'oopin'-cough."
"That must be a matter of twenty-five year ago—before ever Jim was born."
"You ain't told us yet, dear, what Doctor done."
"I'm comin' to that. Jim, 'e's not without 'is uses an' 'e's more time, like, to read the paper than the other men. So 'e reads the news an' tells it all over at Plough an' Orses' nights, an' they do say the way 'e urges of the men to 'list is somethin' wonderful."
"Not thinkin' of goin' 'isself, of course?"
"Ain't 'e 'ad a poisoned 'and? Still, this 'e did; to a lot of chaps as as 'eld back 'e says—'If you goes to Doctor to be examined I'll go with you,' 'e says—could a man do more? 'I tell you you honest,' 'e says, 'that with my poor 'and I'm a man marked down for stayin' at 'ome, worse luck. What would I give,' 'e says, 'to go forth in the pride of 'ealth, same as you? Still, I'll go to Doctor with the rest of you, if only to show 'ow these things should be done.'"
"Ow many went ?"
"Three in all, includin' of Jim. 'E led the way up to Doctor's surgery, then 'e waved the others in front of 'im. 'Take the sound men first, Sir,' 'e says, 'an' then, it you'll spare me a minute, I'll take it kind.'"
"What did Doctor do?"
"Doctor 'e does as Jim says and takes 'im last, after tellin' the other two as they were better at 'ome. 'I been waitin' for you,' 'e says, an' 'e turned on Jim that fierce as never was. 'A 'and as 'as been perfectly well for the last six months to my certain knowledge ain't goin' to prevent you fightin',' he says, 'so off you go an' 'list.'"
"Poor old Sally! No one to work for now but just 'erself, then?"
"War be an awful thing, it seems, for raisin' the wicked passions in peaceful men. Keyser, Geyser—whatever 'e calls 'isself—and our old Doctor... it be all the same."