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Punch/Volume 147/Issue 3827/The Price of War

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Punch, Volume 147, Issue 3827 (November 11th, 1914)
The Price of War by R. A. Thorold
4258702Punch, Volume 147, Issue 3827 (November 11th, 1914) — The Price of WarR. A. Thorold
Now woe is me! My treasure, my delight,
My guerdon after many toilsome days,
Shall gladden me no more. It was a sight
To bid men gape in wonderment, and praise
My patient courage that endured despite
The gibes of friends and Delia's pitying ways.
  Ah, cruel fate that forced my hand to snip
  Such cosily growth as graced my upper lip!

Moustache most cherished! Not as other men
That let their lush growth riot as it will,
With just a formal waxing now and then,
Did I maintain it. Nay, with loving skill
And all the precious oils within the ken
Of cunning alchemists I strove until
  Its soaring points aspired to pierce the skies,
  And I was martial in my Delia's eyes.

Great store of gold I lavished. Yea, I went
To one that works in metals and I bought
A kind of dreadful iron instrument
With leathern straps, most wonderfully wrought,
And wore that horror nightly, well content
To bear such anguish for the prize I sought.
  And all this patient toil was thrown away—
  They stoned me for the Kaiser yesterday!