Punch/Volume 147/Issue 3828/The Kaiser's Hate
[The feeling in Germany, it appears, is now quite friendly towards France and Russia, and all the fury of the Press is concentrated on England.]
When first the champions were listed, When first the shells began to fall,Some trace of animus existed Between the Teuton and the Gaul;King William was extremely callous, Nay, even found a certain zestIn riding from his Potsdam palace To show his purple to the West.
But what a charm the Frenchman carries! His compliments how wide they range!Before King William got to Paris His feelings underwent a change:"Our ancient feud against the Latin," He said, "has sensibly decreased;"And rising from the trench he sat in He moved his umbrage to the East.
He trampled on the Polish border; He cried that Russia was the foe;The German Press received the order And answered meekly, "That is so;"But when King William met the Tartar His soul sustained another wrench,He found the Slavs were even smarter At entertainments than the French.
They gave him such a royal greeting With Cossack horsemen making curvesThat William asked them, on retreating, To try his Prussian game preserves;"Duke Nicholas is not the canker," He told his German scribblers then;"His treatment has disarmed my rancour" (It certainly disarmed his men).
"Out yonder in the circling billows There lies the object of my scorn,We hate these English armadilloes, We wish they never had been born;Their name to us is rank and fetid, And on their sins our rage is fed;"And all the German Press repeated Precisely what the Kaiser said.
Eh well. That water is a worry! And doubtless, if the iron gloveShould meet us here in Kent or Surrey, Its clasp might soften into love;We might despatch him with a grey grin, And all the German Seribes would vow"Our bugbear is the Montenegrin; We do not hate the English now."
But better still to cool his dudgeon Where week by week our nobler sonsHave proved Britannia's no curmudgeon By salvoes of applauding guns;To save him toil without his landing, To meet him with more warm advance,And help to share that "understanding " He has with Russia and with France.Evoe.