Punch/Volume 147/Issue 3831/Our Mighty Penmen

by Graves, C. L. and Lucas, E. V.

OUR MIGHTY PENMEN.

(In acknowledgment of the services of some of the gifted representatives of "The Daily Mail" and "The Daily Chronicle.")

Correspondents, though banned at the Front,
Are so manfully doing their "stunt"
  In searching for news
  That the Limerick Muse
Thus honours their skill in the hunt.

The despatches of Mr. Elias
Are so laudably free from all bias
  That their moderate strain
  Has given much pain
To the shade of the late Ananias.

K. OF K., who by birth is a Kerry man,
Much approves of the work of Z. Ferriman,
  For it holds the just mean
  That's betwixt and between
The extremes of Cassandra and Merryman.

For news that is fresh from the spot
Commend me to great ALan Bott;
  The stuff that he wires
  Stokes our patriot fires
Without being ever too hot.

The despatches of good Mr. Perris
Have the flavour of syrupy "sherris;"
  They enrapture the mind
  Of the sane and refined—
Especially Ellaline Terriss.

In Rotterdam city James Dunn
Keeps his vigilant eye on the Hun,
  And fires off despatches
  In generous batches,
Like a humanized 15-inch gun.

It is futile to cavil or carp
At Sir Alfred, whose surname is Sharpe;
  For he soothes us or stings
  As the nightingale sings,
Or as angels perform on the harp.