Punch/Volume 147/Issue 3831/The Four Sea Lords

by R. P. Keigwin

THE FOUR SEA LORDS.

(For the information of an ever-thirsty public.)

First Sea Lord.

This is the man whose work is War;
He plans it out in a room on shore—
He and his Staff (all brainy chaps)
With miniature flags and monster maps,
And a crew whose tackle is Hydrographic,
With charts for steering our ocean traffic.
But the task that most engrosses him
Is to keep his Fleet in fighting trim;
To see that his airmen learn the knack
Of plomping bombs on a Zeppelin's back;
To make his sailors good at gunnery,
And so to sink each floating hunnery.

Second Sea Lord.
Here is the man who mans the Fleet
With jolly young tars that can't be beat;
He has them trained and taught the rules;
He looks to their hospitals, barracks, schools;
He notes what rumorous Osborne's doing,
And if it has mumps or measles brewing.
He fills each officer's vacant billet
(Provided the First Lord doesn't fill it);
And he casts a fatherly eye, betweens,
On that fine old corps, the Royal Marines.
This is the job that once was Jellicoe's,
But now he has one a bit more bellicose.

Third Sea Lord.
Ships are the care of the Third Sea Lord,
And all Material kept on board.
'Tis he must see that the big guns boom
And the wheels go round in the engine-room;
'Tis he must find, for cloudy forays,
Aeroplanes and Astra Torres;
And, long ere anything's sent to sea,
Tot up a bill for you and me.

Fourth Sea Lord.
The Fourth Sea Lord has a deal to plan,
For he's, chief of all, the Transport man.
He finds the Fleet in coal and victuals
(Supplying the beer—if not the skittles);
He sees to the bad'uns that get imprisoned,
And settles what uniform's worn (or isn't)...
Even the stubbornest own the sway
Of the Lord of Food and the Lord of Pay!

 

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