Punch/Volume 147/Issue 3833/A Credibility Index
"This Poland business is still rather hard to follow," said my wife plaintively, after consulting the latest newspaper map pinned over the mantelpiece, "and I know it's tremendously important. I wish they wonkin't keep fighting in small villages that aren't marked; and really beyond the the bare fact that both armies repeatedly surround one another simultaneously it is not at all easy to gather just what they are at."
"The whole thing would be as clear as day," said my sister-in-law, who likes to be regarded as an authority on land operations—I am myself our Naval Expert—"if only one knew what to believe. Have the Germans occupied Przsczwow or have they not mot?"
"I think they must have done. Last night's paper said that it was believed that Przsczwow was officially occupied, and it says here that it is officially stated that Przsczwow is believed to be occupied."
"It's only partially official," said I, who had carefully collated the reports on the point. It was semi-official from Amsterdam, official from Berlin, considered to emanate from a good source in Rome, and unofficially denied in Petrograd."
"It must be true," said my wife.
"You were always a good believer, dear," said I. "I doubt if I know any one who has believed as much in sheer quantity as you have since the war began. You know you swallowed that yarn about———"
"Don't you think," my wife broke in hastily (for she simply hates to be reminded of the Russians in England), "that we ought to have a sort of index to judge these rumours by?"
"I see," said I. "One hundred for absolute reliability. Nil for the perfect and utter lie."
The table which resulted was hung up beside the map for reference; I recommend it for general use.
| London, Paris or Petrograd (official) | 100 |
| "" "" (semi-official) | 50 |
| Berlin (official). | 25 |
| It is believed in military circles here that——— | 24 |
| A correspondent who has just returned from the firing-line tells me that——— | 18 |
| It is freely stated in Brussels that——— | 17 |
| Our correspondent at Amsterdam wires that——— | 13 |
| Our correspondent at Rome announces that——— | 11 |
| Berlin (unofficial) | 10 |
| I learn from a neutral merchant that——— | 7 |
| A story is current in Venice to the effect that——— | 5 |
| It is rumoured that——— | 4 |
| I have heard to-day from a reliable source that——— | 3 |
| I learn on unassailable authority that——— | 2 |
| It is rumoured in Rotterdam that——— | 1 |
| Wolff's Bureau states that——— | 0 |
We didn't put in my wife's other sister who lives on the East coast, because I don't like to hurt people's feelings. My wife hears from her frequently. Her average is about nineteen to one against, so that her proper place on the list would be bracketed with the story from Venice.