The Golden Ass of Apuleius/Chapter 27
THE TWENTY-SEVENTH CHAPTER
How the Gentlewoman was carried home by her husband while the theeves were asleepe, and how much Apuleius was made of.
HEN the theeves were all asleepe by their great and immoderate
drinking, the young man Lepolemus took the Maiden and set her upon my
backe, and went homeward. When we were come home, all the people of the
Citie, especially her Parents, friends, and family, came running forth
joyfully, and the children and Maidens of the towne gathered together to
see this virgin in great triumph sitting upon an Asse. Then I (willing
to shew as much joy as I might, as present occasion served) I set and
pricked up my long eares, ratled my nosethrils, and cryed stoutly, nay
rather I made the towne to ring againe with my shrilling sound: when
wee were come to her fathers house, shee was received in a chamber
honourably: as for me, Lepolemus (accompanied with a great number of
Citizens) did presently after drive me backe againe with other horses to
the cave of the theeves, where wee found them all asleepe lying on the
ground as wee left them; then they first brought out all the gold, and
silver, and other treasure of the house, and laded us withall, which
when they had done, they threw many of the theeves downe into the
bottome of deepe ditches, and the residue they slew with their swords:
after this wee returned home glad and merry of so great vengeance upon
them, and the riches which wee carried was commited to the publike
treasurie. This done, the Maid was married to
Lepolemus, according to
the law, whom by so much travell he had valiantly recovered: then my
good Mistresse looked about for me, and asking for me commanded the very
same day of her marriage, that my manger should be filled with barly,
and that I should have hay and oats aboundantly, and she would call
me her little Camell. But how greatly did I curse Fotis, in that shee
transformed me into an Asse, and not into a dogge, because I saw the
dogges had filled their paunches with the reliks and bones of so worthy
a supper. The next day this new wedded woman (my Mistresse) did greatly
commend me before her Parents and husband, for the kindnesse which I had
shewed unto her, and never leaved off untill such time as they promised
to reward me with great honours. Then they called together all their
friends, and thus it was concluded: one said, that I should be closed
in a stable and never worke, but continually to be fedde and fatted
with fine and chosen barly and beanes and good littour, howbeit another
prevailed, who wishing my liberty, perswaded them that it was better
for me to runne in the fields amongst the lascivious horses and mares,
whereby I might engender some mules for my Mistresse: then he that had
in charge to keepe the horse, was called for, and I was delivered unto
him with great care, insomuch that I was right pleasant and joyous,
because I hoped that I should carry no more fardels nor burthens,
moreover I thought that when I should thus be at liberty, in the spring
time of the yeere when the meddows and fields were greene, I should
find some roses in some place, whereby I was fully perswaded that if my
Master and Mistresse did render to me so many thanks and honours being
an Asse, they would much more reward me being turned into a man: but
when he (to whom the charge of me was so straightly committed) had
brought me a good way distant from the City, I perceived no delicate
meates nor no liberty which I should have, but by and by his covetous
wife and most cursed queane made me a mill Asse, and (beating me with a
cudgill full of knots) would wring bread for her selfe and her husband
out of my skinne. Yet was she not contented to weary me and make me a
drudge with carriage and grinding of her owne corne, but I was hired of
her neighbours to beare their sackes likewise, howbeit shee would not
give me such meate as I should have, nor sufficient to sustaine my life
withall, for the barly which I ground for mine owne dinner she would
sell to the Inhabitants by. And after that I had laboured all day, she
would set before me at night a little filthy branne, nothing cleane
but full of stones. Being in this calamity, yet fortune worked me other
torments, for on a day I was let loose into the fields to pasture, by
the commandement of my master. O how I leaped for joy, how I neighed
to see my selfe in such liberty, but especially since I beheld so many
Mares, which I thought should be my wives and concubines; and I espied
out and chose the fairest before I came nigh them; but this my joyfull
hope turned into otter destruction, for incontinently all the stone
Horses which were well fedde and made strong by ease of pasture, and
thereby much more puissant then a poore Asse, were jealous over me, and
(having no regard to the law and order of God Jupiter) ranne fiercely
and terribly against me; one lifted up his forefeete and kicked me
spitefully, another turned himselfe, and with his hinder heeles spurned
me cruelly, the third threatning with a malicious neighing, dressed his
eares and shewing his sharpe and white teeth bit me on every side. In
like sort have I read in Histories how the King of Thrace would throw
his miserable ghests to be torne in peeces and devoured of his wild
Horses, so niggish was that Tyrant of his provender, that he nourished
them with the bodies of men.