The Golden Ass of Apuleius/Chapter 28
THE TWENTY-EIGHTH CHAPTER
How Apuleius was made a common Asse to fetch home wood, and how he was
handled by a boy.
FTER that I was thus handled by horses, I was brought home againe to
the Mill, but behold fortune (insatiable of my torments) had devised a
new paine for me. I was appointed to bring home wood every day from a
high hill, and who should drive me thither and home again, but a boy
that was the veriest hangman in all the world, who was not contented
with the great travell that I tooke in climbing up the hill, neither
pleased when he saw my hoofe torne and worne away by sharpe flintes, but
he beat me cruelly with a great staffe, insomuch that the marrow of my
bones did ake for woe, for he would strike me continually on the right
hip, and still in one place, whereby he tore my skinne and made of my
wide sore a great hole or trench, or rather a window to looke out at,
and although it runne downe of blood, yet would he not cease beating
me in that place: moreover he laded me with such great burthens of wood
that you would thinke they had been rather prepared for Elephants then
for me, and when he perceived that my wood hanged more on one side then
another, (when he should rather take away the heavy sides, and so ease
me, or else lift them up to make them equall with the other) he laid
great stones upon the weaker side to remedy the matter, yet could be not
be contented with this my great misery and immoderate burthens of wood,
but when hee came to any river (as there were many by the way) he to
save his feete from water, would leape upon my loynes likewise, which
was no small loade upon loade. And if by adversity I had fell downe in
any dirty or myrie place, when he should have pulled me out either with
ropes, or lifted me up by the taile, he would never helpe me, but lay
me on from top to toe with a mighty staffe, till he had left no haire on
all my body, no not so much as on mine eares, whereby I was compelled
by force of blowes to stand up. The same hangman boy did invent another
torment for me: he gathered a great many sharp thornes as sharp as
needles and bound them together like a fagot, and tyed them at my
tayle to pricke me, then was I afflicted on every side, for if I had
indeavoured to runne away, the thornes would have pricked me, if I had
stood still, the boy would have beaten mee, and yet the boy beate mee to
make me runne, whereby I perceived that the hangman did devise nothing
else save only to kill me by some manner of meanes, and he would sweare
and threaten to do me worse harme, and because hee might have some
occasion to execute his malicious minde, upon a day (after that I had
endeavoured too much by my patience) I lifted up my heeles and spurned
him welfavouredly. Then he invented this vengeance against me, after
that he had well laded me with shrubs and rubble, and trussed it round
upon my backe, hee brought me out into the way: then hee stole a burning
coale out of a mans house of the next village, and put it into the
middle of the rubbell; the rubbell and shrubs being very dry, did fall
on a light fire and burned me on every side. I could see no remedy how I
might save my selfe, and in such a case it was not best for me to stand
still but fortune was favourable towards me, perhaps to reserve me for
more dangers, for I espyed a great hole full of raine water that fell
the day before, thither I ranne hastily and plunged my selfe therein, in
such sort that I quenched the fire, and was delivered from that
present perill, but the vile boy to excuse himselfe declared to all the
neighbours and shepheards about, that I willingly tumbled in the fire as
I passed through the village. Then he laughed upon me saying: How long
shall we nourish and keepe this fiery Asse in vaine?