Vicar of Bray/The Improbability

THE IMPROBABILITY.

As I was musing in a grove,
all by myself, as I suppos’d,
Mv mind did oft-times me reprove,
but by no means could be compos'd;
At length by chance a friend I met,
which caus’d me long to tarry,
Of me she did entreat to tell her,
when I had a mind to marry.

When saffron grows on every tree,
and every stream flow milk and honey,
When sugar grows on carrot fields,
and usurers refuse money;
And countrymen for judges sit,
and Michaelmas falls in February,
When millers do their tolls forget,
O then my love and I’ll be married.

When Shrove-tide falls on Easter week,
and Christmas in the month of July,
When lawyers plead without a fee,
and taylors they deal just and truly,
When all deceit is quite put down,
and truth by all men is preferred,
When Indigo dyes red and brown,
O then my love and I’ll be married.

When men and beasts the ocean plow,
and fishes in green fields are feeding,
When cockle-shells in streets do grow,
and swans upon dry banks are breeding;
When mussel-shells grow diamond rings,
and glass to gold may be compared
When gold is made of grey-goss wings,
O than my love and I'll be married.

When women know not how to scold,
and Dutchmen leave off drinking brandy,
When cats do bark, and dogs do mew,
and brimstone's t'ken for Sugar-candy:
When Whitsuntide it does fall out
all in the Month of January,
When coblers works without an awl,
O then my Love and I'll be married.

When Candlesticks do serve for bells,
and frying-pans do serve for ladles,
And in the Sea they dig for wells,
and porrage-pots they do serve for cradles,
When all maids prove true to their loves,
and a man on his back an ox can carry;
And when the mice with the cat doth play,
O then my Love and I'll be married.