Yawcob Strauss and Other Poems/A Zoological Romance

by Charles Follen Adams

A ZOOLOGICAL ROMANCE.

Inspired by an Unusual Flow of Animal Spirits.

No sweeter girl ewe ever gnu

Than Betty Marten's daughter Sue.

With sable hare, small tapir waist,

And lips you'd gopher miles to taste;

Bright, lambent eyes, like the gazelle,

Sheep pertly brought to bear so well;

Ape pretty lass, it was avowed,

Of whom her marmot to be proud.

Deer girl! I loved her as my life,

And vowed to heifer for my wife.

Alas! a sailor, on the sly,

Had cast on her his wether eye—-

He said my love for her was bosh,

And my affection I musquash.

He'd dog her footsteps everywhere,

Anteater in the easy-chair.

He'd setter round, this sailor chap,

And pointer out upon the map

The spot where once a cruiser boar

Him captive to a foreign shore.

The cruel captain tar outdid

The yaks and crimes of Robert Kid.

He oft would whale Jack with the cat,

And say," My buck, doe you like that?

"What makes you stag around so, say!

The catamounts to something, hey?"

Then he would seal it with an oath,

And say, "You are a lazy sloth!

"I'll starve you down, my sailor fine,

Until for beef and porcupine!"

And, fairly horse with fiendish laughter,

Would say, " Henceforth, mind what giraffe ter!"

In short, the many risks he ran

Might well a llama braver man.

Then he was wrecked and castor shore

While feebly clinging to anoa;

Hyena cleft among the rocks

He crept, sans shoes and minus ox;

And when he fain would goat to bed,

He had to lion leaves instead.

Then Sue would say, with troubled face,

"How koodoo live in such a place?"

And straightway into tears would melt,

And say," How badger must have felt!"

While he, the brute, woodchuck her chin,

And say, " Aye-aye, my lass!" and grin.

*#*#*#*

Excuse these steers. . . . It's over now;

There's naught like grief the hart can cow.

Jackass'd her to be his, and she—

She gave Jackal and jilted ine.

And now, alas! the little minks

Is bound to him with Hymen's lynx.