420
HUDIBRAS.
[PART III.
But you may swear at any rate,
Things not in nature, for the state;
For in all courts of justice here
A witness is not said to swear,
But make oath, that is, in plain terms, 705
To forge whatever he affirms.
I thank you, quoth the Knight, for that,
Because 'tis to my purpose pat—
For Justice, tho' she's painted blind,
Is to the weaker side inclin'd, 710
Like charity; else right and wrong
Cou'd never hold it out so long,
And, like blind fortune, with a sleight,
Conveys men's interest and right,
From Stiles's pocket into Nokes's,[1] 715
As easily as hocus pocus;[2]
Plays fast and loose, makes men obnoxious;
And clear again, like hiccius doctius.
Then whether you would take her life,
Or but recover her for your wife, 720
Or be content with what she has,
And let all other matters pass,
The bus'ness to the law's alone,[3]
The proof is all it looks upon;
And you can want no witnesses, 725
To swear to any thing you please,[4]
That hardly get their mere expenses
By th' labour of their consciences,
Things not in nature, for the state;
For in all courts of justice here
A witness is not said to swear,
But make oath, that is, in plain terms, 705
To forge whatever he affirms.
I thank you, quoth the Knight, for that,
Because 'tis to my purpose pat—
For Justice, tho' she's painted blind,
Is to the weaker side inclin'd, 710
Like charity; else right and wrong
Cou'd never hold it out so long,
And, like blind fortune, with a sleight,
Conveys men's interest and right,
From Stiles's pocket into Nokes's,[1] 715
As easily as hocus pocus;[2]
Plays fast and loose, makes men obnoxious;
And clear again, like hiccius doctius.
Then whether you would take her life,
Or but recover her for your wife, 720
Or be content with what she has,
And let all other matters pass,
The bus'ness to the law's alone,[3]
The proof is all it looks upon;
And you can want no witnesses, 725
To swear to any thing you please,[4]
That hardly get their mere expenses
By th' labour of their consciences,
- ↑ Fictitious names, sometimes used in stating cases, issuing writs, &c.
- ↑ In all probability a corruption of hoc est corpus, by way of ridiculous imitation of the priests of the Church of Rome, in their trick of transubstantiation.—Tillotson. But Nares thinks that the origin of the term may be derived from the Italian jugglers, who called that craft Ochus Bochus, after a magician of that name. Hocus, to cheat, comes from this phrase; and Malone suggests that the modern word hoax has the same origin.
- ↑ Later editions read:
The bus'ness to the law's all one.
- ↑ Taylor, the Water Poet, says, "that some do make a trade of swearing; as a fellow being once asked of what occupation he was, made answer, that he was a vitness, meaning one that for hire would swear in any man's cause, right or wrong.
