The Pastor in his Closet/Sunday
SUNDAY.
This is the day which the Lord hath made, I will rejoice and be glad in it. It has been consecrated by the glorious resurrection of the ever-blessed Son of God our Saviour, who made all things new.
All days are Thine, Lord, and on all days shouldest Thou be served; but this is Thine in an especial manner, and with an especial service shouldest Thou be now worshipped. This is the soul’s day, to be filled with prayer and praise. Now should our prayers and praises be the most and heartiest, that the spirit of prayer may descend through all the spaces of the week, that we may abound with thanksgiving, that the well of our souls being now filled with the Spirit, the whole week may be watered therefrom.
But if this, O God, is the day of prayer to all Thy sons in the Gospel, what should it be to the ministers of Thy Word and Sacraments, who ought at all times to be men of prayer, the foremost in praying?
I desire, therefore, good Lord, to prepare myself for this day’s worship, that I may truly worship Thee, that my soul may have an appetite for this feast. I do rejoice in the gift of the Lord’s day; I do confess my own needs and the needs of this people for such a season of prayer; but yet, Lord, I fear lest I should lose some portion of the richness of the feast through my own strayings of soul, or my coldness. Look now upon me that Satan may not overcome me, that I may begin worthily in a true spirit, that I may keep worthy thoughts, and offer pure worship, such as may be acceptable to Thee out of Thy great mercy. In all public offices of religion keep my soul pure, disentangled from the world, undistracted, and intent on Thee.
As I have many things to do, to pray—to read Thy Holy Word—to preach accordingly—to offer up supplications for the sick, and thanksgivings for those to whom Thou hast shewed mercy—to baptize— to receive the blessed Sacrament of Thy Body and Blood—to administer it—to lay in the grave those of our brethren whom it hath pleased Thee to take from us unto Thyself,—help me, Holy Jesus, in all these acts of devotion, that the spirit of devotion may be sustained throughout, that all my ministrations may be done with a single mind, and may be blest unto myself and unto those to whom I minister.
Outward reverence at all times, Lord, is easy; but inward reverence, inward attentiveness and solemnity of spirit it is hard always to keep. I may not wound my flock by outward carelessness, indifference, haste, negligence, or any other visible fault; but how much may I lose them, if I do not inwardly worship Thee and heartily pray for them, if my spirit is backward and remiss, or hurrying to many unprofitable thoughts, or thinking of the opinions of men!
It is right that I should outwardly honour Thee, for there cannot be inward worship beneath outward irreverence; but what are things outward if I lack devotion within! No man knoweth from outward appearance how much my thoughts wander in my prayers, but Thou knowest mine infirmities; “my faults are not hid from Thee,” and “my secret sins are in the light of Thy countenance.” I fear being formal in my worship; I am often formal; I want perseverance in prayer, collectedness, abstraction, true fervent elevation of soul. As the shepherd I ought to go before the sheep and lead them unto Thee, but I doubt not many of the sheep do outrun me in fervent praying and in the heartiness of their praise.
O Lord, I could for hours pray Thee to give me the true spirit of prayer; I am so dull, so easily carried back to the world; so often dwelling upon worldly affairs, so grovelling in my thoughts; and when men think me devout, then oftentimes I most need that very thing which I am supposed to have.
Assist me, heavenly Father, for Thy dear Son’s sake, especially in the more solemn parts of my ministrations. Assist me, most merciful Saviour, especially when I administer Thy blessed Sacraments, those mysteries whereby we are new-born, or renewed in the spirit of our minds.
When I administer Holy Baptism may I do it with a devout will, with faith, with sincere prayers. Though my unworthiness or absence of mind hinders not the reception of grace, yet it were a thing most sinful, most hurtful to my own soul, if, while the Holy Ghost was descending, I was wandering afar off; if, while He were present, I were absent in spirit. Let me consider how many thoughtless god-parents in these times speak solemn words lightly, and so may I be moved to pray as though none beside myself were praying; make me to look upon all children dedicated to Thee as mine for Thy sake. If the prayers of their kindred be lacking at that time, make up what is lacking by the fervency of mine.
May I delight to bring little children unto Thee for Thy blessing. I know that sometimes I desire to escape labour or to lessen it, and that sometimes I shrink from any lengthening of Divine service; but grant, good Lord, that I may ever rejoice in beholding a fresh soul added to Thy Church. What better prayer can I now offer Thee in secret than that which at Holy Baptism I offer Thee publicly.
“Grant that whosoever is dedicated to Thee by our Office and Ministry, may also be endued with heavenly virtues, and everlastingly rewarded; through Thy mercy, O blessed Lord God, who dost live and govern all things, world without end.”
And also when I administer the unspeakable mystery of Thy Supper, then, blessed Jesus, strengthen me with great gifts of the Holy Spirit; grant that my soul may be fitly prepared and dressed for that celestial feast, and that I may have truly repented of my sins, and may have purposed to lead a more spiritual life before I draw near to that mysterious banquet of love.
When I stand at Thine Altar, grant that I may have the profoundest sense of Thy Presence; take me, as it were, out of the world; shut the gate of my heart against it; lift up my spirit; let the house of prayer be unto me as a heavenly place; let the very rails of the altar remind me of my especial separation from the world; may I feel myself to be on holy ground; I cannot draw nearer unto Thee on the earth, may I feel Thy nearness. Till me with a sense of my own sins and Thy great love, of my own unworthiness and Thy mercy; for who can tell the love wherewith Thou hast loved us; I altogether sink to the earth when I think of Thy wonderful condescension towards us and the awfulness of our sins, that could in no other way be atoned for except by the spilling of Thine own blood.
I have sometimes, yea, many times rejoiced with unspeakable joy, when I have been suffered to partake of Thy Body and Blood in the Sacrament of Thy Supper, and to minister it to the more mature members of my flock; my soul has been filled with sensible consolations; I have experienced overflowings of love and great peace. But must I not confess that at times when I have been called to minister at Thine Altar, if it had not been my office to serve thereat, I might have abstained from the Feast! must I not confess that I have at times come coldly, with little heart; that I have ministered coldly, and not with a full soul; that I have said those great words, “Take and eat this,” and “Drink this,” without deeply considering that I was distributing a heavenly and life-giving meal! I have passed on from one communicant to another, without that devotion of spirit that was meet.
Grant, Lord, that henceforth I may always weigh those words, and speak them from my innermost soul, and be warmed with a most holy love for each single soul that receives the mystical elements from my hands. Grant that my intent may go with my ministrations, though, should my intent be wanting, I believe that they may still be blessed to my flock.
In these and all other acts of Divine service this day be present with me, most gracious Lord, that I may perform them holily, with a holy purpose. When I perform the rite of Holy Matrimony, or of the Churching of Women, or the most moving Service for the Burial of the Dead, preserve in me an attentive and earnest spirit. In all the order of Common Prayer, in all Litanies, and supplications, and confessions of faith, in all psalms and spiritual songs, fill me with the Spirit, lead me by the Spirit, to the throne of grace.
When I preach, may I preach faithfully according to Thy Holy Word, delivering Thy Gospel “with meekness of wisdom.” May I preach not only true words, but in a true spirit. May I seek not to please men's ears, nor to raise admiration of myself, but to turn their hearts and draw them unto Thee. May I preach holily, knowing that plain words from a holy and spiritual mind are more apt to minister grace to the hearers than most eloquent words that come not from a devout heart. If men should listen eagerly to my own fallible words, may I never be puffed up; may I strive against a self-seeking and vain-glorious mind; may I kneel down and meditate upon the multitude of my sins. Easily might my soul be lost through the sweetness and deceivableness of human praise. Or if through lack of eloquence, a gift now over-esteemed to the neglect of prayer, my flock come but ill to the house of prayer, may I by true seriousness seek to edify the more devout and stable souls. It is not a multitude of listeners that bespeaks the growth of piety. May I myself think more of prayer, that I may lead others to esteem it more.
Grant also, Lord, that I may spend all little intervals between the parts of Divine service in inward prayer. When I enter the vestry, may I use it as my oratory, my place of secret prayer, of preparation for common worship. May I waste not the time, but spend it either in praying, or meditating, or reading Thy Holy Word, that I may enter upon mine office with a prepared and collected mind. While I robe myself with the decent vestments appointed by the Church, may I offer up short ejaculations, praying for inward purity, that, as one of Thy Priests, I may “be clothed with righteousness;” may the white robe be unto me as a sign of the innocency of life required of me. When I pass from the vestry to the appointed place of prayer, or from the place of prayer to the altar, or from the altar to the place of preaching, may I lift up my soul secretly as I walk, and offer up secret prayers for the gift of the Holy Ghost, for power to pray, for grace, for the Divine blessing both upon myself and the congregation assembled in Thine house.
But not only at the time of public prayer and in the house of prayer give me a devout will, but in all other parts of the day and in all other acts help me, most blessed Lord, that whether I walk through the fields, or sit at home, or read, or meditate, or teach in schools, I may preserve a holy and thankful mind, and use the whole day holily, and consecrate all its portions.
Now, Heavenly Father, give me now Thy blessing; direct my goings in Thy way; direct the thoughts of my heart throughout this day and always, for Jesus Christ’s sake. Amen.
