That you, overwhelmed by fortune and bitter plight, send me
this short letter, written down with tears.
That I may rescue one shipwrecked, expelled by the frothing waves
of the sea, and bring him back in health from the threshold of
death, him whom heavenly Venus provides no relief, alone in a
celibate bed, in languid sleep,
nor Muses delight with sweet song of ancient writers
when your mind stays anxiously awake all night,
pleases me because you tell me I'm your friend
and seek the gifts both of the Muses and of Venus.
But lest you not know my misfortunes, Manius,
or think I rue my guest's obligation,
listen, lest you further seek from a miserable man the blessed gifts
wherewith I myself am submerged in the waves of Fortune.
At that time when a grown man's toga was first handed down to me,
when the age, rife with flowers, issued a pleasant spring,
I had played much: the goddess is well aware of us,
she who mixes our sweet bitterness with cares.
But my brother's death has taken this eager pasttime
away from me entirely. My brother, unhappily removed from me,
as you were dying, you broke my advantages; my brother, our
whole house was buried along with you,
and all our joys perished along with you,
joys which your kind friendship nurtured in life.
Because of untimely death I have expelled from my entire
consciousness these pastimes and all delights of the mind.
Wherefore, because you write that it is shameful for
Catullus to be in Verona, because here, anyone who is anyone
would be wont to warm limbs cold from a lonely bed, it is
not just a shame, Manius, but a source of real grief.
Therefore, please forgive me if I do not grant you the gifts
which grief has taken from me, for I cannot so grant them.
For, as for the fact that I do not have a great abundance of
writings at my family home in Verona, it happens that we
live in Rome: that house, that home of mine, there my life
is browsed, and one small scroll case out of many follows me
here. Since it is so, I wouldn't want you to decide that I'm
doing this out of spite or lack of appropriate generosity
because an abundance of neither kind of poem has been sent
to you though you have sought it. If any such abundance were
forthcoming, I would produce it unasked.
I cannot keep silent, ye goddesses, about the matter with which
Allius has helped me, or about the extent of the obligations
with which he has helped me, lest his life, which slips away
as the generations forget, cover this zeal with a blind night:
but I'll tell you, hereafter tell many thousands and
make this roll of papyrus speak when it is old... ...
When he is dead, may he become more and more famous, and may
no spider do her work, weaving a thin web high upon Allius'
lonely name! You know what concern two-faced Venus has given
me, and in what manner she has parched me, for I've been
burning like Etna's Sicilian crag or the waters of Malis in
the hot gates of Mount Oeta, and my hapless eyes have not
stopped wasting away in unremitting tears, and my cheeks
have not stopped being wet with the gloomy tears of rain.
As a stream, shining on the summit of an airy mountain, a
stream that rushes forth from the mossy stone, cuts through
the way of a dense population and suddenly rolls from a
sloping valley is sweet comfort to a tired, sweaty traveler
when severely hot weather cracks the parched fields, and
precisely as a second wind that comes blowing rather gently
is sweet comfort after sailors have been buffeted about in a
black tornado, such help has Allius been to me, now
that the prayers of Castor and Pollux have been issued. With
a wide path, he has opened up a shut plain, and he has given
a home to me and to Lesbia, to which she and I would come to
ply our mutual love. My radiant goddess brought herself
fleetly to Allius' home and set her foot's gleaming sole in
the worn doorway, her weight balanced on a squeaky sandal,
as Laodamia, burning with love, once came to the house of
her husband Protesilaus, a house begun in vain, since no
sacrificial animal had yet appeased the heavenly masters
with its holy blood. Nemesis, nothing of the sort that is
undertaken recklessly, when the gods are unwilling, would
please me so very much. Laodamia learned how the hungry
altar longed for upright blood when her husband was taken
away, and she was compelled to let go of her new husband's
neck before the return of winter had satisfied her
passionate love in the long nights, with the result that she
was able to live after breaking off the marriage, which the
Fates knew would not be a long way off if he went as a
soldier to Troy. At that time, with the abduction of Helen,
Troy had begun to rouse the chief men of the Argives toward
herself, Troy (horror!), shared tomb of Asia and Europe,
Troy, cruel funeral pyre of all men and virtues, which has
even brought a miserable death to my brother! Our whole
house has been buried together with you, and all our joys
have perished together with you, which your sweet friendship
nurtured in life. A foreign land holds him deep under ground
now, so far away, not among familiar tombs, and not placed
beside the ashes of relatives, but buried unhappily in Troy,
loathsome Troy! Whither, then, the conscripted men of
Greece, hurrying from all directions to forsake their
domestic hearths, are drawn, lest Paris, having rejoiced
after Helen was enticed away, freely spend idle pleasures in
a placid bed chamber. Then, because of this plight, most
beautiful Laodamia, a marriage dearer than life and spirit
was taken away from you. A flood, engulfing you in such a
whirlpool of love, had carried you off into a deep pit of
catastrophe, such as, the Greeks say, drains the floor of
Mount Cyllene, near Pheneus, the swamp having been milled: a
pit which Hercules, falsely fathered, is said once to have
dug, when the innards of the mountain had fallen, at which
time he killed the monsters of Stymphalus with an unerring
arrow under the command of lesser Eurystheus, that the door
of the heavens might be traversed by more divinities, and
Hebe shortly lose her virginity. But deeper than that pit
was your deep love, which, though you were indomitable,
taught you to bear the yoke of marriage. And our daughter
does not cherish so dear the head of a late grandson when
her father is exhausted with age; the grandson, when at long
last having acquired his grandfather's riches, enters his
name in the account books, signed in the presence of a
witness, dislodges a vulture from a whitened head the
impious joys of a ridiculous distant relative; nor did
anyone who was the wife of a snow-white cock pigeon rejoice
so much, a pigeon who is said always to snatch kisses rather
wantonly from many a biting beak; how especially promiscuous
is Lesbia! But you alone have conquered their great
passions, as once and for all you have been united to a fair
husband. My sweetheart, compared to Laodamia, is then worthy
to concede little or nothing to my lap; blond Cupid has
often gleamed in a saffron yellow tunic, running here and
there around her. Although she nevertheless is not satisfied
with one Catullus, we bear the infrequent and furtive trysts
of a chaste mistress, lest we be annoying, in the manner of
fools. Even Juno, the greatest of the goddesses, often
stomachs her burning anger at her husband's wrongdoing,
knowing of more trysts of all-desiring Jupiter. But it isn't
just to compare people to gods... ...Take the unwelcome
burden of a trembling father. Besides, she didn't come
brought down by my father's right hand to my house, redolent
with Oriental fragrance, but gave secret little favors on an
extraordinary night, when she was removed from the very lap
of her husband himself. Therefore, it is enough if this day,
which she marks, is given to me with a whiter stone than
ordinary days! Allius Manius, this gift, wrought as well as
I could in verse, is rendered to you in return for your many
favors, lest this day and that touch your name with a
scabrous blight. To this total, the gods will add so many
more gifts, the which Themis once upon a time was accustomed
to bearing to upright people in ancient times. May you and
your life as well be prosperous, and the very house in which
Lesbia and I have played, and Allius, who first has given us
land and now carries it away, from the tip of whom
everything good was originated, and my sweetheart, who is
far dearer to me than all others, dearer to me than I myself
am: my life is sweet with her alive.
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quod mihi fortuna casuque oppressus acerbo
conscriptum hoc lacrimis mittis epistolium,
naufragum ut eiectum spumantibus aequoris undis
subleuem et a mortis limine restituam,
quem neque sancta Venus molli requiescere somno 5
desertum in lecto caelibe perpetitur.
nec ueterum dulci scriptorum carmine Musae
oblectant, cum mens anxia peruigilat:
id gratum est mihi me quoniam tibi dicis amicum,
muneraque et Musarum hinc petis et Veneris. 10
sed tibi ne mea sint ignota incommoda, Mani,
neu me odisse putes hospitis officium
accipe quis merser fortunae fluctibus ipse,
ne amplius a misero dona beata petas.
tempore quo primum uestis mihi tradita pura est 15
iucundum cum aetas florida uer ageret,
multa satis lusi: non est dea nescia nostri,
quae dulcem curis miscet amaritiem.
sed totum hoc studium luctu fraterna mihi mors
abstulit. o misero frater adempte mihi, 20
tu mea tu moriens fregisti commoda, frater.
tecum una tota est nostra sepulta domus,
omnia tecum una perierunt gaudia nostra,
quae tuus in uita dulcis alebat amor.
cuius ego interitu tota de mente fugaui 25
haec studia atque omnes delicias animi.
quare quod scribis Veronae turpe Catullo.
esse quod hic quisquis de meliore nota
frigida deserto tepefactet membra cubili.
id, Mani, non est turpe, magis miserum est. 30
ignosces igitur si, quae mihi luctus ademit,
haec tibi non tribuo munera cum nequeo.
nam, quod scriptorum non magna est copia apud me,
hoc fit quod Romae uiuimus: illa domus,
illa mihi sedes, illic mea carpitur aetas; 35
huc una ex multis capsula me sequitur.
quod cum ita sit, nolim statuas nos mente maligna
id facere aut animo non satis ingenuo.
quod tibi non utriusque petenti copia posta est.
ultro ego deferrem copia siqua foret. 40
Non possum reticere, deae, qua me Allius in re
iuuerit aut quantis iuuerit officiis,
ne fugiens saeclis obliuiscentibus aetas
illius hoc caeca nocte tegat studium.
sed dicam uobis, uos porro dicite multis 45
milibus et facite haec carta loquatur anus.
[omnibus inque locis celebretur fama sepulti]
notescatque magis mortuus atque magis.
nec tenuem texens sublimis aranea telam
in deserto Alli nomine opus faciat. 50
nam, mihi quam dederit duplex Amathusia curam,
scitis, et in quo me corruerit genere,
cum tantum arderem quantum Trinacria rupes
lymphaque in Oetaeis Malia Thermopylis,
maesta neque assiduo tabescere pupula fletu 55
cessaret tristique imbre madere genae,
qualis in aerii perlucens uertice montis
riuus muscosa prosilit e lapide,
qui cum de prona praeceps est ualle uolutus
per medium densi transit iter populi, 60
dulce uiatori lasso in sudore leuamen,
cum grauis exustos aestus hiulcat agros.
hic uelut in nigro iactatis turbine nautis
lenius aspirans aura secunda uenit
iam prece Pollucis, iam Castoris implorata. 65
tale fuit nobis Allius auxilium.
is clausum lato patefecit limite campum,
isque domum nobis, isque dedit dominam,
ad quam communes exerceremus amores.
quo mea se molli candida diua pede 70
intulit. et trito fulgentem in limine plantam
innixa arguta constituit solea,
coniugis ut quondam flagrans aduenit amore
Protesilaeam Laodamia domum
inceptam frustra nondum cum sanguine sacro 75
hostia caelestes pacificasset eros.
nil mihi tam ualde placeat, Ramnusia uirgo.
quod temere inuitis suscipiatur eris.
quam ieiuna pium desiderat ara cruorem.
docta est amisso Laodamia uiro, 80
coniugis ante coacta noui dimittere collum
quam ueniens una atque altera rursus hiems
noctibus in longis auidum saturasset amorem,
posset ut abrupto uiuere coniugio,
quod scibant Parcae non longo tempore abesse, 85
si miles muros isset ad Iliacos.
nam tum Helenae raptu primores Argiuorum
coeperat ad sese Troia ciere uiros.
Troia (nefas!) commune sepulcrum Asiae Europaeque.
Troia uirum et uirtutum omnium acerba cinis, 90
qualiter et nostro letum miserabile fratri
attulit. ei misero frater adempte mihi,
ei misero fratri iucundum lumen ademptum,
tecum una tota est nostra sepulta domus,
omnia tecum una perierunt gaudia nostra, 95
quae tuus in uita dulcis alebat amor.
quem nunc tam longe non inter nota sepulcra
nec prope cognatos compositum cineres,
sed Troia obscena, Troia infelice sepultum
detinet extremo terra aliena solo. 100
ad quam tum properans fertur lecta undique pubes
Graecae penetrales deseruisse focos,
ne Paris abducta gauisus libera moecha
otia pacato degeret in thalamo.
quo tibi tum casu pulcerrima Laodamia 105
ereptum est uita dulcius atque anima
coniugium: tanto te absorbens uertice amoris
aestus in abruptum detulerat barathrum,
quale ferunt Graii Pheneum prope Cyllenaeum
siccare emulsa pingue palude solum 110
quod quondam caesis montis fodisse medullis
audit falsiparens Amphitryoniades,
tempore quo certa Stymphalia monstra sagitta
perculit imperio deterioris eri,
pluribus ut caeli tereretur ianua diuis, 115
Hebe nec longa uirginitate foret.
sed tuus altus amor barathro fuit altior illo
qui tamen indomitam ferre iugum docuit.
nam neque tam carum confecto aetate parenti
una caput seri nata nepotis alit, 120
qui, cum diuitiis uix tandem iuuentus auitis
nomen testatas intulit in tabulas,
impia derisi gentilis gaudia tollens
suscitat a cano uolturium capite.
nec tantum niueo gauisa est ulla columbo 125
compar, quae multo dicitur improbius
oscula mordenti semper decerpere rostro,
quam cum praecipue multiuola est mulier.
sed tu horum magnos uicisti sola furores,
ut semel es flauo conciliata uiro. 130
aut nihil aut paulum cui tum concedere digna
lux mea se nostrum contulit in gremium,
quam circumcursans hinc illinc saepe Cupido
fulgebat crocina candidus in tunica.
quae tamen etsi uno non est contenta Catullo 135
rara uerecundae furta feremus erae
ne nimium simus stultorum more molesti.
saepe etiam Iuno, maxima caelicolum,
coniugis in culpa flagrantem concoquit iram
noscens omniuoli plurima furta Iouis. 140
at quia nec diuis homines componier aequum est
ingratum tremuli tolle parentis onus.
nec tamen illa mihi dextra deducta paterna
fragrantem Assyrio uenit odore domum,
sed furtiua dedit mira munuscula nocte, 145
ipsius ex ipso dempta uiri gremio.
quare illud satis est si nobis is datur unis
quem lapide illa dies candidiore notat.
hoc tibi quod potui confectum carmine munus
pro multis, Alli, redditur officiis, 150
ne uestrum scabra tangat rubigine nomen
haec atque illa dies atque alia atque alia.
huc addent diui quam plurima quae Themis olim
antiquis solita est munera ferre piis.
sitis felices. et tu simul et tua uita, 155
et domus in qua olim lusimus et domina,
et qui principio nobis terram dedit auspex,
a quo sunt primo omnia nata bona,
et longe ante omnes mihi quae me carior ipso est.
lux mea, qua uiua uiuere dulce mihi est. 160
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